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Eskra Amazon Driver, Caught Keeping “Presents” For Himself, Avoids Jail

A part time driver for amazon has appeared at Omagh Magistrates Court following a police raid on his home which led to the discovery of over 1000kgs of unopened deliveries.

Mickey “tealeaf” Rogers has been handed down a suspended sentence and required to undertake 40 hours community service.

Mr Rogers was also found to be in contempt of court after he requested proceedings be undertaken in Irish, and following lengthy and costly procedures to have this facilitated he just kept repeating “an bhfuil cead agam dul go dtí and leithreas” which according to google means Ireland the Brave, and is tattooed on many Americans.

TT caught up with Mr Rogers outside court, who appeared unrepentant.

“Lucksee, they can say whatever they want like. Them presents were mine. I tried to give them away and nobody answered me.. Fair is fair.  Anyway, they can say whatever they want with their fancy wigs. I don’t recognise the court.”

When we pointed out to Mr Rogers that not complying with the court order to undertake community service could lead to further trouble, he told us ‘they can go and shite’.

In other news, with the evenings are fairly getting darker, Barra Best has announced on BBC that, officially, there is no stretch in them at all now.

Over 1000 Amazon Echo Devices Returned In Tyrone Yesterday Over Language Barrier Differences

 

amazon-echo-promo

Alexa getting rough treatment

Pub and shop owners in the county have urged people to stop giving off about Alexa after it emerged that over 1000 households in the county returned their Amazon Echo devices due to its inability to understand locals and vice versa.

 

In one extreme example, a man in his 40s from Eskra was witnessed kicking the device around his garden at 3pm on Christmas Day after it failed to understand “Alex, play the one ‘Mon Boy Light Thon Fire’ by that band The Durs” after 200 requests to do so.

Electronics expert Roger McGinnity from Omagh offered advice for locals who have yet to return their device:

“Alexa isn’t programmed to understand the subtleties of the Tyrone dialect. Asking it ‘is it coul the day?’ will confused the system and result in annoyance on both sides. My advice is to think of what you want to ask and have a dictionary nearby and mouth out the words that way. It’s still a useful device.”

The Amazon data team revealed that the most asked questions to Alexa in the county on Christmas Day were: ‘Alexa, will Trone win the All-Ireland the year?’ and ‘Alexa, are the cops nearby atall?’

Meanwhile a 43-year old man from Ardboe has proposed to the machine, surrounded by family and friends. Although Alexa was non-committal, a service will go ahead on New Year’s Eve, the first of its kind in the county.

 

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