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Bridges on new A4 extension ‘deadly for trolls’ claims Ballygawley man
Deadly for trolls
By Staff Reporter Shengas McGlumphie
“Them wee troll boys are bad news” said Terry McGerr from Church Street. “They’ve been nothing but trouble since thon new big road opened. And it’s all because they hang about under all them new fancy bridges. Bridges to trolls is like what a jar of honey is to bees. Anyways, what was wrong with the Ballygawley line?”
A troll is a supernatural being from Norse mythology and Scandinavian folklore. Known for living under bridges, trolls are said to be ugly and slow-witted, often with particularly grotesque facial characteristics.
“I’m sure I’ve seen some hanging about Donaghmore outside Grimes’ place, bold as brass, like they own the shop. They’ll be taking our jobs next, and then what? It was fine when it was just the one wee troll underneath Hopper’s Bridge on the Aughnagar Road. He kept himself to himself. In fact, you’d never even see him. Now you can’t move for feckin trolls.”
McGerr admitted that he hadn’t actually made any conclusive troll sightings but says he has come close:
“Oh aye, two Friday nights ago late on I saw a bunch of them all squatted down under the bridge at Cabragh like a wee witch’s coven, all cacklin away thinking no-one was watching them. It was only when I got up close I realised it was just some Killeeshil lasses on their way home from Quinn’s Corner, stopping off to relieve themselves in the sheuk”.
Undeterred, McGerr intends to continue his not-in-my-back-yard style of Council lobbying until action is taken.
What’s On In Tyrone: Oct 20-21
COOKSTOWN
Wife-carrying competition. All participants must register in the field behind the convent. Women must be over 12 stone and fully clothed. Distance 400 metres. Winner receives a token for a pint in Mulligans as long as they buy another. Sunday 9am.
STRABANE
Sat, 4pm. Tar-Barrel Racing. This annual event involves people racing through the streets of the town, carrying flaming wooden barrels of burning tar on their backs. This ancient game has been a staple feature of Strabane life since 1888 when John McElhinney was convicted of stealing his neighbour’s underwear from her line and made to walk through the town carrying a tar barrel alight. Patron please take notice that there’ll be no medical facilities on offer.
BALLYGAWLEY
This weekend sees the return of Plough Sunday, a day when ploughmen traditionally blacken their faces with cow clap (or manure) and dance up and down the Whitebridge Road singing “Hickory Dickory Dock”. No one knows the origin of this but people flock from all over to see these strange customs. Stalls will be on display, showcasing homegrown Ballygawley produce such as grass, blackberries and sticks. Paudge Quinn will lead the dancing, heavily manured.
MOY
Tyrone Tribulations 