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Fintona Man Still In Shed After Forgetting To Wish Wife Happy Birthday On Facebook

CMTA9E_2671319bA Fintona hedge expert is said to be holding up well in his 8×6 Apex overlap dip-treated shed after spending a third night locked out of his house.

Francie Daly (44) returned from work on Thursday to find himself literally in the dog house after completely forgetting to wish his wife a Happy Birthday on the social media network Facebook, despite already giving her flowers, a card, a new car and making her breakfast that morning.

Locally known as ‘Hedgy’ because of his brilliance with hedge clippers, Francie admitted he is completely to blame:

“Aye I messed up. I completely understand her reaction. Despite the new car, flowers, card and breakfast, it doesn’t really count unless I upload the whole thing onto Facebook so everyone can see how much I like her. I’m an idiot.”

Family and friends of Daly have been inundating him with provisions such as corned beef sandwiches and toilet roll.

Mrs Daly (40) has yet to show any signs of thawing. At 3.06pm today she posted on Facebook a cryptic “men are just dicks” which received over 30 likes and five comments. One comment added “aye, assholes“. An hour later she posted a picture of her drinking wine and eating a tube of Pringles.

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Tyrone GAA Player May Quit Over Quality Of Birthday Cake

hungry caterpillar cake_thumb

This year’s, and maybe last year’s, cake

An unnamed Tyrone player is said to be sitting at home ‘hopping mad’ after it was revealed he was presented with a caterpillar birthday cake for his 32nd birthday, for the second year running.

The Carrickmore defender, whose identity is being kept under wraps, was presented with the cake after training on Tuesday night in the changing rooms ahead of their preliminary round replay against Down this weekend.

A source close to the team revealed how the iconic defender initially reacted with indifference before launching a four-lettered tirade against the management and fellow players.

 “Flip, he lost it. The worst thing about it was the cake might have been the same one as last year. I remember the mouth fell off last year and this one had no gob too. I think what really pissed him off was the Happy Birthday song. Only a couple half-heartedly sang it and it had completely tailed off by the time his name was mentioned.”

In a remarkable fit of temper, the player lifted the cake and flung it against the wall above the head of the assistant manager. Embarrassingly, the cake bounced back off the wall and struck the ageing Carrickmore man on the groin, causing a ripple of giggles from the younger players in the squad.

 “He nearly took the head clean off one of our nippy forwards who was smirking at the bouncing cake. I really thought the Edendork finisher wasn’t going to make it out of that changing room upright. Luckily, the boss produced a party popper with streamers and that seemed to settle the veteran. He stopped effing.”

Since the incident, the Tyrone County Board have drawn up watertight birthday procedures which includes a bouncy slide to be placed at the side of the pitch for jollification after training. Clowns will also be employed with many inter-county referees filling in there.

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