Blog Archives
Trump’s Whatsapp Leak Confirms White House Views On 2025 GAA Championship. Musk Thinks McCurry ‘Past It’.
We can reveal that Tyrone Tribulations was mistakenly added to a White House Whatsapp group called ‘GAA Championship 2025’, revealing some surprising views held by the US government top brass.
In a comment that is sure to irk the Edendork community, Elon Musk thought Tyrone had a good chance to ‘play in the high sun’ but also commented on Darren McCurry’s age. Calling him ‘The Dazz’, Musk said he worried about the mileage on McCurry’s legs when the ground gets firmer this summer. ‘The Dazz might be past it, lads, especially in the heat of Clones’ to which Trump himself gave a thumbs-up emoji.
Vice President JD Vance went further into the intricacies of club football but also blundered when he said ‘Clonoe could take the O’Neill Cup the year’, despite Clonoe playing in Division Two in 2025. He was immediately rebuked by U.S. national security advisor Michael Waltz who wrote ‘stop talking bollocks ye wee wanker’ followed by 5 laughing emojis.
Trump, an avid Armagh supporter, put up three orange faces and wrote ‘up the apple men’ but also added he’s $500 on Darragh Canavan as top scorer and Donegal to take Sam.
Tyrone Tribulations left the group.
Tyrone Crest Buffering Screen On Tyronegaa Live Matches Hypnotising Gaels Into Buy Merchandise, Claims Man
A psychologist from Brackaville maintains he bought three jerseys from O’Neills website straight after he purchased an online game on tyronegaa for £5 which buffered for 38 minutes in total.
Other pundits have also admitted to being similarly transfixed by the buffering screen which features the Tyrone crest and a small swirly ball which moves in a clockwise direction for up to seven solid minutes at a time. Many racked up 100s of pounds buying merchandise straight after games and not remembering doing it.
Pat Gillis, who used to bend spoons with his mind in the 80s, claims there may be a hypnotic algorithm at work here:
“One minute you’re tearing your hair out and calling tyronegaa all the bollockses of the day as you miss three scores and a sending off because of the buffering and staring at that wee ball and the crest, the next you’re feeling the need to buy 20 Tyrone face masks from O’Neills. All of a sudden £5 turns into £120.”
Tyronegaa have denied no such hypnotic approach to the streaming of live games but did admit they had a new head of merchandise PR who has proposed setting up 5G masts in the county for better streaming services.
Meanwhile, supporters have been told to stop f**kin and blinding on live matches as many children have been heard cursing straight after games in homes.
Tyrone Tribulations 