Moy Locals Ordered To ‘Do Themselves Up A Bit’ After Moy Park World Cup Announcement
Following the news that the Moy Park brand will be seen by millions at this year’s World Cup, the Tyrone Tourism Board have sent leaflets around every house in the Moy area including Blackwatertown and Benburb, asking them to tidy themselves up a bit ‘for the love of God’.
Henry Bogue, tourism chairman and fashion aficionado, reckons thousands will descend on the Moy in the aftermath of the World Cup to see for themselves how tasty these chickens are in their home town:
“If my calculations are remotely accurate, I forecast we’ll witness Nigerians, Albanians, Canadians, Bolivians and so on arriving by the boatload from July onwards to taste our lovely chickens. It’ll be like people going to Italy for pizza or France for wine. Everyone will be talking about Moy Park at this World Cup and we need to get the message out that we’re not just a place with swings and slides and stuff.”
Bogue maintains the hard work starts now to get the place looking well, starting with the locals:
“We’ve applied for European Funding for free Botox, facial surgery, liposuction and hair implants to be offered to anyone within a 2-mile radius of the village. We’ve also contacted Gok Wan, Loose Women, Ralph Lauren and Donaghmore people to see if they’ll offer some fashion advice to those most in need. Jean dungarees are not the look we want to project across the planet.”
Local footballer Pibil Jordan is adamant they can change:
“We’re up to the challenge. Last week I had a do to go to in Dublin and I washed like mad that morning. People said I looked deadly and my nails were completely clean. If I can do this without funding, imagine how we’ll look with a lock of pounds thrown at us. Anyway, should this not be about Moygashel?”
Meanwhile, Baracuda Fishing Tackle in Dungannon have denied rumours they are to sponsor Man Utd from 2016 onwards.
Posted on February 20, 2014, in Benburb, Blackwatertown, Donaghmore, Dungannon, Moy, Moygashel and tagged albania, baracuda fishing tackle, Benburb, blackwatertown, bolivia, botox, canada, Donaghmore, Dublin, france, gok wan, italy, July, liposuction, loose women, Moy, moy park, moy park chickens, Moygashel, nigeria, ralph lauren, World Cup. Bookmark the permalink. 7 Comments.
Reblogged this on seachranaidhe1.
what about the flegs? have you got flegs and paramilitary muriels in Tyrone? Are yiz keepin them or are yiz takin them doun and painten thim over? Like themmuns want te do in are capital?
We’re not deadly into the muriels here. More into diffin and walkin around.
Funny but its a pity moy park is named from moygashel
Oh no! Journalist sacked. We pride ourselves on accuracy and truth.
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