Number of Tyrone Pallet Seller Millionaires At All Time High

9H82SCAD1JNKUCAKSAM4ECA4CFUS8CABDPQ8CCAXR4253CA9UCDRXCAZBL4K7CA1YI0EICAZ6P35OCAEDMHWLCAHUXD0ZCAPW5AAECAQL7DFICAR354RDCANGIQ7ECAEL7GBKCA8R1O4LCAF5SXODBY SHENGAS MCGLUMPHIE

Drunk Man

Shrewd Benburb millionaire

Recent research shows that there are now close to 10,000 people in Tyrone who have become millionaires from selling pallets.

The data, produced by the Research Institute of Northern Ireland, confirms that every single person in Tyrone now knows at least one person who knows someone who has made a fortune selling pallets.

This however is contradicted by the 2011 census returns. Those who confirmed their occupation as working in the pallet sector usually had other jobs which appeared to be relatively menial and low paid, including tree watcher, banana straightener, and bed tester, clearly inconsistent with a millionaire pallet tycoon.

Anecdotal evidence however suggests that there is indeed an abundance of people who know people who know someone who has somehow managed to create a personal fortune from selling pallets.

“Aye, it’s a mystery”, said local Omagh economist Seamus Ramirez. “All these millionaires and yet none of them seem to be spending any of their hard-earned pallet money in the county. I can’t understand it. I’ve yet to find one of these pallet magnates”.

Benburb man Kevin Brady however countered this.

“Oh aye. My granda knows a fella who knows a boy who drinks in the McGovern Arms in Benburb. John Joe. Quiet guy, sits in the corner. Not much to look at. But my granda says he’s made a fortune selling pallets, so he has”.

Further investigation at the Benburb hostelry did indeed contain a man in his late 60’s, sitting in the corner and answering to the name of John Joe. The alleged millionaire, who was clearly in the advanced stages of inebriation, said,

“Eh. What? What parrots? I’ve not been selling no parrots. Not this week anyway. Are you from the Social? There’s no money to be made in carrots. Unless you’re a rabbit. Are you selling rabbits? I used to have a parrot. Are you two twins?”

Despite the other occupants in the bar confirming that the man seemed to spend all day every day in the same seat in the same bar, they also confirmed in a conspiratorial whisper that he had indeed made a fortune selling pallets but that he “didn’t like to go splashing it about”.

Advertisements

About Gombeen

Trying hard to make it up.

Posted on August 6, 2013, in Benburb, Omagh and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s

LUCID BEING

Art Digitally Rendered √ Blogs √ Quantum Energy, Healing To Real Empowerment √

In Dianes Kitchen

Recipes showing step by step directions with pictures and gadget reviews

Video Games Guide - PS Vita, PS3, Xbox , Wii - BestVideoGames.site

Video Games Guide - PS Vita, PS3, Xbox , Wii

Young Writers and Poets

If writing is your dream, you are at the right place!

Naturesl0vers

All about nature

Dining with Donald

Donald on dining in and out

The Irish Peace Process

Catholic Afterthoughts

Ryan Harper Writing

Short Stories, Poems and Songs and random observations

My Journey:

Me and my daughters journey with a GATA2 deficiency, myelodysplasia, a bone marrow transplant and beyond..............

Amber, Like the Traffic Light

Twenty-something, dog obsessed, book-binging gal

Minimal Belle

Creative, mindful & compassionate living

%d bloggers like this: