BY SHENGAS MCGLUMPHIE

Residents across Tyrone last night were prompted into getting heavy coats out and putting them onto beds as the temperature plummeted to as low as minus 4 degrees Centigrade in some parts of the County.

Donkey jackets, duffle coats, boiler suits, dressing gowns, overcoats, monkey hats and other outerwear were all hurriedly thrown onto beds, as faulty electric blankets were dug out of attics and hastily re-wired.

Local housewife and serial complainer Alison Brennan from Mountfield said,

“Jays, it was baltic. I don’t know how many blankets and coats we had on the bed but I could have survived a gunshot. You’ve no idea how cold this house is. I went out to the sales this morning and bought 14 more duffle coats for the beds. My husband told me to sit by the fire, but there’s not much point in that unless he’s going to light the feckin’ thing. Tight-fisted eejit”.

Brennan continued,

“I knew we were going to be in trouble when I was in Greencastle last night to get some wheaten, and the young lasses were out in what they call their ‘overcoats’. Or to give it its proper name, glitter spray”.

Others were faced with the prospect of having to have the central heating on all day.

“Have you seen the price of oil?” complained a man from Trillick, who preferred to remain anonymous. “We’re racing through the stuff. Christ, it was only the end of November since I siphoned 500 gallons of it from them ‘uns down the road. Now I’m going to have to do it all over again. It’s beyond a joke, it really is”.

Elsewhere, the roads were causing driving difficulties. Local PSNI Chief Inspector John Quinn said,

“The roads are like a bottle. People shouldn’t be out driving in this weather, and if they are they need to act responsibly. We were in Tesco car park last night trying to doing doughnuts in the panda car and it was almost impossible. Car was sliding all over the place. People should stay in”.

It has also been reported that 44 youngsters have been clipped around the ear over the holidays for leaving the immersion on for more than three hours after the water was used.

The cold weather continues.