McKeown, concerned

The head of the Moy Riflers Association (MRA), Harry Mackle, has initiated an investigation into an incident described as “an inch away from an Easter Day Massacre”. 

The almost-tragic accident occurred at 3am this morning on the Benburb Road whilst members of the MRA were out hunting for bears or wolves as they do once a month. Unbeknownst to Mackle and co, Pat McKeown had at the same time donned an Easter bunny costume and was leaving a trail of chocolate eggs from his wife’s bed to a secluded spot near the Moy football field.

McKeown added:

“I’d been planning this for weeks. It’s our 10th wedding anniversary and I was hoping she’d wake up at 4am and see the trail, follow it down the road and find me here in my Bunny costume where I’d serenade her with my bugle, probably some Nathan Carter number. It was all going to plan. Well, until three bullets whizzed past by ear.”

Mackle, who wasn’t out hunting bears that night, feels sympathy for his riflers and maintains he’d do the same in that position:

“You need to realise, we’re primed for expecting bears and wolves. We’re killing machines. Since we set up nine years ago, not a shot has been fired in anger as there doesn’t appear to be many bears left in Ireland. But, we’re always cocked and if you see this big bunny in front of you with a bugle in his hand, it’d be hard not to blow the head clean off it.”

Luckily, one of the riflers recognised McKeown’s bugle and an apology was made. All made it back for a moonlit drinking session in an illegal shebeen in the village.

Meanwhile, McKeown has reported his wife as ‘missing’.