Omagh’s ‘Shawshank Husband’ Dug Tunnel From Bedroom To Pub Over 15 Years

Kerr re-enacts tunnel movement

Kerr re-enacts tunnel movement

An Omagh plumber tunnelled a hole from under his bed to the local pub 800 feet from his house over the course of 15 years, a court heard today.

Patsy Kerr had been summonsed to Omagh County Court after it emerged he had been the cause of a collapsed sewage pipe from a neighbouring house. Kerr told the court about his secret tunnel and the reasons behind it:

“The wife has a bad snore on her and after watching the Shawshank Redemption on RTE one night in 1994, I decided to do something about it so I waited til she was in a deep sleep and then set about digging a hole under the bed in the direction of the pub. I used all manner of tools from spoons to a heavy duty tunnel boring machine I managed to sneak down there when she was at the shops. It wasn’t until 2009 that I hit the jackpot and came up through the women’s toilet mop and bucket room.”

Kerr explained how he spent the last five years heading to the pub via his tunnel at 11pm before returning at 1am, undetected by his deep sleeping wife:

“To be honest I was sort of glad I was caught. She was always smelling drink off me in the morning and I was explaining it away as a natural odour. But recently I was finding myself singing rebel songs and stuff coming back up the tunnel and it was only a matter of time before I was caught anyhow. The landlord was also wondering how I was just appearing out of nowhere at the same time every night and disappearing from the women’s toilets.”

The tunnel was finally discovered after the DOE performed a survey on a sewage problem which turned out to be caused by a pipe Kerr had hit accidentally, causing sewage to leak into his tunnel over five years. The judge questioned Kerr’s wife as to why she never smelt the sewage odours from her husband. Mrs Kerr simply shrugged.

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Posted on September 25, 2014, in Omagh and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 117 Comments.

  1. Copy cat! Lol yuv wud of built yur own pub in qtr of that time but fair play ta ya

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  2. why didant u jus use the door lol

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  3. This guy says he was inspired by watching the Shawshank Redemption on RTE in 1994, but the film wasn’t released until September 1994 in the USA, February 1995 in the UK and March 1995 in Ireland (IMDB) ,so it was shown on Irish TV before being released at the cinema!? This was 1994 and video releases were typically 6 months to a year after the cinema release. Hmmm…

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  4. ITS CRAP ITS NOT REAL-FAKE!

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  5. Common guys 15years his wife didnt notice anyting ???no way and still dont understand reason behind it!

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  6. No link to the story
    Clever idea but obviously made up

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  7. Filthy mongrels.

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  8. I wish this were true….

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  9. This story was read out on Ken Bruce’s show on BBC radio 2 this morning, he thought it was all true lol!

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  10. Aah elation turned to despair when I realised this site was satirical. Tyrone giveth and Tyrone taketh away…

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  11. What in the name of God was he sleeping with to inspire this sort of action?

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  12. Wife could smell the grog, but couldn’t detect the sewage. Shows how many “natural smells” the husband usually reeked of.

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  13. It’s a bit of fucking light banter you WANKERS

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  14. Reblogged this on biobookowl and commented:
    The lengths that some men will go to in order to get 1) alcohol and 2) away from their wife in secret, shows what the world could be like if we all showed such dedication and commitment to our goals!

    Like

  15. Reblogged this on Big Blue Dot Y'all and commented:
    The most Irish of tales. For a thousand reasons.

    Like

  16. all your replies are better than the story its self.x

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  17. I love that she could smell the booze but not the sewage.
    and over the course of 5 years I bet that she was used to his foul odor by then! lol

    hell she probably thought it was her because their bedroom probably smelled rancid when he wasn’t even around.

    hahaha

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  18. Alcoholism at its best – what a drunkard

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  19. wow the wife couldn’t smell the booz or sewage or had just lost int-
    rest in the marriage

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  20. Hahahahahaaa Six months till St. Patrick’s Day!

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  21. if buddys wife is that controlling that she would have a problem with him going out at night he should have divorced her years ago.

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  22. Talk about homer simpson going shawshank.This would be an awesome episode for the simpsons lol.

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  23. Talk about homer simpson going shawshank jail break. This would be an awesome simpson episode. LOL

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  24. Be easier to sneak out the door

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  25. Obviously his wife never cleaned under the bed or she would have found the tunnel!!!!

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  26. Did you get this Idea from Escape from Alcatraz! ! :-O

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  27. I admire the initiative, but really – if the wife was such a deep sleeper, why not just walk out the front door?

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  28. Well Armed Yankee

    “Accuracy cannot be guaranteed.” – from this site’s About Page.

    This is satire folks.

    Like

  29. Obviously trying to steal beer, just got caught and concocted this tale.

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  30. In such situations I ALWAYS SUPPORT the sewage pipe so that it will not sag and fracture and leak.
    Any plumber knows dis.

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  31. Obviously fake but still a funny story. To think that he was able to conceal a trapdoor coming out somewhere within the women’s bathroom is clearly ridiculous

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  32. Earl P. Holt III

    Another Obama voter, caught in the act…

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  33. Why did he need to dig the tunnel at all? If his wife was such a heavy sleeper, just walk out the door and go to the pub. If she wakes up and you’re gone, it doesn’t matter if you crawled thru a tunnel or walked out the door. You’re still not there and she is going to want to know where you were.

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  34. “She was always smelling drink off me in the morning and I was explaining it away as a natural odour.”

    No dear, that’s just my cologne – Eau d’India Pale Ale. Like it?

    Like

  35. Maybe the guy really likes to dig tunnels!

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  36. Johnna Richterdson

    Omagh God,He stinks

    Like

  37. Shared on Facebook…with thanks! 🙂

    Like

  38. Us Paddies tell a good yarn. If the hog’s that deep a sleeper, why didn’t he just go out the front door???

    Like

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