New Clogher Millennium Bridge

A 44-year old civil engineer from Castlehill Gardens in Augher has been labelled ‘fairly uncivil‘ by long-suffering Clogher folk who have described their latest bridge ‘unfit for purpose’ after it was seen swaying when an Airbus bound for Alaska flew over, 30’000 feet above the structure.

Noel Burns, who won a case against him in 2007 by The Concerned Clogher Committee (CCC) when accused of making roads worse by putting dead ends on them, maintained the bridge is a stiff as the Eiffel Tower and has told Clogher ones to quit whinging or he’ll not look kindly on the new planning permission for clean water in the village.

CCC chairperson Melanie Liffey is adamant Burns is doing things on purpose to wind up his near neighbours:

“The swaying ‘Millennium Bridge’ is just the latest structural cock-up he has landed on Clogher on purpose. Last year he was given the job of building the Clogher Historical Building in the town centre. Didn’t he build it with no windows or electrical provisions so it was completely dark and then overlooked plumbing needs so people had to just hold it in if nature called. He sabotages us at every opportunity and keeps getting away with it. Civil engineer my arse.”

Burns was also accused of building four new roads out of Clogher from 2003 with dead ends so that no one could ever leave the town or indeed arrive in it. Tourism dropped 133% over the following 4 years with new fashions and trends unable to penetrate the historical village. Experts reckon Clogher is still on 2009 time with many currently distraught at hearing of Michael Jackson’s untimely death.

The bridge is currently operational at your own risk.