Entreprenuer Makes Millions By Selling Wheelbarrowfuls Of Sperrin Air Despite Side Effects
Recent tax returns have confirmed that a Greencastle entrepreneur has pocketed over £3.2m in profit due to his ‘Sperrin Air’ production line which sees customers buying wheelbarrows full of air he has gathered from high up in the Sperrin Mountains.
Dermie Doherty, who has over 140 wheelbarrows currently in action, travels up Sawel Mountain in the Sperrin range by foot and, armed only with his wheelbarrow, collects the natural high-altitude air by walking around randomly before wheeling it back to his yard and emptying it into jam jars or leaving it in the barrows for bulk sale.
However, despite a roaring trade and soaring profits, concerns have emerged over serious side effects including cheering on Derry and fancying close relatives. Long-time customer Patsy Hurl of Cappagh explained:
“There’s no better feeling than opening up a jar of Sperrin Air and breathing in the delights of pure mountain atmosphere. At £39.99 a shot it’s not cheap but you definitely feel healthier. But they way I cheered Emmet McGuckin’s penalty against my home county was a bit disconcerting. And then I fought a lad over my cousin’s affections at the Slaughtneil disco. I’m weaning off it.”
Doherty has promised to label the barrows or jam jars with a health warning that some may suffer Derry-related side effects but argued that the overall positives outweighed the cons:
“Only 3 in every 5 are showing signs of Derryitis. To me that’s good odds. I’m shipping 35 wheelbarrows full of Sperrin Air every day so I’m doing something right.”
Health watchdog ‘Fresh’ have asked customers to be careful when wheeling the air home as any spillage of the air from the barrow could contaminate Tyrone air with catastrophic effects.