Coalisland Man To Open Off-Licence In Downing Street

A Coalisland entrepreneur has won a bidding war on 14 Downing Street and immediately signaled his intention to open a 24-hour off-licence due to high demand from locals.

Mickey ‘Bulldog’ Coyle purchased the property on Friday and set up a small stall on Saturday morning to gauge interest from the community. Unfortunately, Coyle sparked a major security incident after shouting ‘blow her up, ref‘ whilst watching the Tyrone-Armagh McKenna Cup game on Saturday. Mediation was quickly reached, with Coyle warned about future behaviour.

‘Bulldog’ is confident that this could be a long-term residency:

“I’d be lying if I said that me going to Downing Street went down well in my home town. Within two hours of announcing it to my mates down the Lineside, someone daubed ‘get out til f**k‘ on my gable wall. And that was my own uncle. But money is money and those hoors love the beer over there.”

Coyle also revealed that he may sell under-the-counter stuff too if the demand is there.

The DUP has already hinted at their intention to picket the shop if they don’t stock minerals and crisps for the teetotallers.

About Gombeen

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Posted on January 16, 2022, in Coalisland and tagged . Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. he’ll be a great success if he’s well stocked up with expensive wines.
    The locals love them by the suitcase-full

    Liked by 1 person

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