Newly Weds’ Marriage Off To Rocky Start After Groom Hires Hearse
‘You only had one job‘ muttered a disconsolate bride to her groom outside the church entrance in Fintona this morning after she turned up for her big day sitting in the back of a hearse with her father, with the three bridesmaids already having travelled in the same vehicle to the disbelief of the large attendance.
Pat McGinn, who asked to look after the transport arrangements as a gift to his fiancée, admitted he’d messed up after completely mistaking the wedding car for a Daimler 4 litre V8 hearse 2 bearer with covers with only 33’000 miles on the clock and climate controlled air conditioning with new alloy wheels.
“I wouldn’t be deadly into weddings or funerals. I saw the motor advertised on Gumtree and thought she looked lethal. It was only when the brides turned up looking glum and shaking their heads in the back of the hearse. If that was bad, you should have seen herself ten minutes later.”
Mary Clarke (not taking the husband’s name) admitted it was hard to smile during the sermon:
“I’ll never forget that journey. Sitting in the back of that hearse on a polished wooden mount with my da, listening to panpipes playing Nearer My God To Thee and Make Me A Channel Of Your Peace…..I was fuming. He had one job.”
Hearse driver Kenny Archer added that he felt sorry for the bridal party and has promised to do a deal for the first one to pass on to their eternal reward, when that time comes.