Miss Greencastle Pageant Passes Off Peacefully. Aussie Actor Adjudicates.
The 2012 Miss Greencastle pageant did not require a visit from the police for the first year since its inception in 1964, sparking a great night of celebration in the clubrooms. Formerly called The Loveliest Girl from Greencastle (1964-1969), The Beautiful Blade (1970-1989) and You’re A Quare One (1990-2004), this year’s Miss Greencastle was adjudicated by Neighbours actor Ian Smith who plays the angelic Harold Bishop in the long-running Australian Soap. Smith was called in due to the previous incidents which have plagued the highlight of the Greencastle Community Weekend. Harold Bishop (Smith was in character over the weekend) was seen as a safe option what with his Christian outlook in the programme itself.
‘We couldn’t chance another disaster”, gala director Dermy McDevlin told us. “Last year we had Alf Stewart from Home and Away and sure didn’t he wreck the place after he got his first taste of Guinness. There were a few of the potential Miss Greencastles he didn’t like the look of and hurled out insults like “flamin thunder thighs ye galah” and “strewth, bingo wings” much to the anger of boyfriends and family. It was a bomb-site after the riot receded. Harold was a gentleman and even blushed when one of the Miss Greencastles told the story of her slipping on a pick axe when dunging out the yard, displaying her knickers for everyone to see. I thought he was going to pass out.”
The winner, Magdalene Teague, won easily, scoring 79 points out of 100. Her party piece was plastering over a hole in the makeshift lorry truck in under 12 minutes. Her interests included shouting at GAA matches, playing dead and mooing. Last year’s winner Henrietta Tracey didn’t take the defeat too well and was caught slashing the tyres on Bishop’s Ute shouting “stick that in your blinking barbie, fair dinkum?”
Bishop, as expected, was in typical charitable form:
“Ah, one of God’s creatures gone astray, the young jillaroo. Up the ‘Castle. I’ve been a fan of them since way back you know. Yes, they’re a real rip-snorter club. Madge loved them and we’d a picture of Sean Teague in the bedroom.”