Artist’s impression of Sunday night

A Moortown teacher, Bernie Corkery (nee Quinn), has been hailed as a hero after she locked her husband in a byre for two days following a domestic argument last weekend. Neighbours reported ‘shouting and roaring’ emanating from the Battery Road abode on Sunday night after her Cork-born husband Fonsie Corkery returned home after midnight having attended the Tyrone-Cork game earlier in the day. Reports suggest Corkery stopped off in Quinns and then the Battery Bar itself before returning home in high spirits following the comprehensive rebel victory over the Red Hands. Bernie’s sister, Jackie Quinn, maintains the Cork man had it coming:

“Ah sure, too good for him says I. She should’ve kept him in the byre til the weekend. He’d been crowing away down at the Battery singing about Skibbereen and A Rebel Heart. A couple of the Devlins needed held back from boxing the ears off him but they gave him a fool’s pardon in the day that was in it. I knew our Bernie wouldn’t. That woman should get some kind of recognition for tying that bastard up with the cattle til Tuesday. Fair play to her. It’ll put manners on him.”

Friends of Corkery arrived at the house on Tuesday morning as he hadn’t appeared at the Whist Night in the club the night before. It was only when they heard the gentle whining that they investigated the byre itself. Tony Hurson explained:

“It was some sight, ghost-oh. The cattle were licking away at his head, with the smell rather rancid. A bit extreme I thought from Bernie. She has a fierce temper on her though and with him in a bullish mood after the Cork massacre in Omagh as well as being well-oiled from the stout in Quinns, it was a lethal concoction. I thought I heard screaming coming from their place on Sunday night but thought she was just dishing out a few slaps. I didn’t know she’s tie him up out here.”

Dubliner John McGregory, married to Bernie’s sister Tamsin, says he’ll play it down if the Dubs win this weekend.