Drumquin Man Recovering From Salad Intolerance

Dromore man before feed

Drumquin man before feed

shengasBy Staff Reporter Shengas McGlumphie

Craigavon Hospital confirmed last night that it has received its first case of someone suffering from salad intolerance.

“We admitted a 29 year old male yesterday evening where he was treated for a severe adverse reaction to a potentially lethal cocktail which we believe included rocket, watercress and balsamic vinegar” said a hospital spokesperson. “This morning however he has had a big feed and appears to be improving”.

The man in question, bus driver Patsy McGee from Drumquin, gingerly admitted:

“It was tara boys. Yesterday evening the wife gave me salad for my tea which I don’t think I’ve had before, but she was off to the zumba and didn’t have time to make anything else. About an hour later I was having these chronic stomach pains and some mad hallucinations about Kimberley Mikados. I can’t remember much after that”.

Fearful that her husband was having a stroke, his wife Rose immediately dialled 999.

“He was wrecking away in the ambulance, trying to eat the gel for thon defibrillator thing. He was just rambling and kept yelling ‘wagon wheels’ at the paramedic. It got even worse in the ward. He almost dragged three nurses with him trying to escape into the corridor, and there was bugger all out there apart from a fire extinguisher and one of them chocolate machines. They had to sedate him. Poor soul”.

Health officials fear that this could turn into an epidemic across Tyrone, although the intolerance is not thought to be infectious. A woman from Dromore was also admitted to hospital yesterday ranting ‘get me the Tayto’ after having eaten two slices of Ryvita bread for lunch, although the two incidents are not thought to be related.

About Gombeen

Trying hard to make it up.

Posted on April 2, 2013, in Dromore, Drumquin and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

paul g moss

Theories in Education

Ground*ed Hito

Be the light of your own kind.

Scribbles from me to you

My poetry & prose

Life with Saoirse

The ups, downs, laughter and tears of life in a complex family

Kilbarchan Pipe Band Blog

Registered Charity SC045878

The Media Student's Book Blog

Film and media education

AMBIENCE

Ambient Music To The Ethereal And Eternal Idea!

In Dianes Kitchen

Recipes showing step by step directions with pictures and gadget reviews

Video Games Guide - PS Vita, PS3, Xbox , Wii - BestVideoGames.site

Video Games Guide - PS Vita, PS3, Xbox , Wii

Naturesl0vers

All about nature

Dining with Donald

Donald on Dining in and Out.

Fourteen Lines

A Sonnet Obsession

The Irish Peace Process

Catholic Afterthoughts

Ryan Harper Writing

Short Stories, Poems and Songs and random observations

%d bloggers like this: