‘King of Beragh’ Sacked
A Beragh call centre manager has been sacked after it emerged he was repeatedly late for work after lunch having spent ‘up to two hours’ in Burger King every day.
Cecil Grimes, a 45-year old recent divorcé, had hoodwinked his employers and family into believing he was the King of Beragh and that the Burger King crown was a traditional headwear for the title. It was only when he was photoed on the Burker King billboard as ‘Eater of the Year’ wearing his BK crown that officials became suspicious of his claim.
Call centre director Johnny Mulgrew explained:
“To give him his credit, he had us well fooled. Every day at 2pm, he’d arrive late after work wearing his Burger King crown and told us he was away doing ‘kingy’ things like opening hairdressers and knighting people. And we believed him as he also had a big golden cloak. It turns out he stole that from the church vestry years ago.”
Grimes was finally rumbled after a billboard appeared in Beragh Main Street showing a 30ftx30ft image of Cecil with his Burger King Eater of the Year award around his neck. Mulgrew added:
“That was when the penny dropped. We contacted Burger King and they said that Cecil had devoured two Chicken Royale meals every lunch time for three years, earning him a crown every day. He’s some bollox that boy.”
Cecil Grimes’ family have also admitted they were tricked into believing he was the King of Beragh and that it’ll take a long time to forget what he has put them through in recent weeks. A cousin told us:
“Some handlin. I heard he sat on a throne and all in his living room and had all manner of servants bringing him grapes and stuff. Sure he put his wife into a dungeon for a pile of months for not recording the All-Ireland Final which led to her eventually divorcing him. Some craic altogether.”
23 stone Grimes has since emigrated to America hoping to become America’s Next Top model.