Donaghmore Woman Denies Being Seen Shopping In Lidl

say nothing

say nothing


A Donaghmore woman has strenuously denied being seen shopping at Lidl in Dungannon on Monday evening. Friends of 36-year old Marie McAleese reported that a woman matching her description was spotted in Dungannon on Monday evening at approximately 7.20pm, wearing dark glasses and pretending to have a limp, walking into the popular discount retailer in Market Yard.

“It’s a pack of lies”, protested McAleese. “I wouldn’t be seen dead in that place. Even if they are selling 40 metres of clingfilm for only £2.99. Jaysus, it’s nearly £4 in Asda. Anyway, I always to go Marks & Spencer for my shopping. And sometimes Tesco, but that’s only for milk and bread. And I’ve been complaining for years that Waitrose should open up a shop in Donaghmore. And Selfridges. So what would the likes of me be wanting in Lidl, buying multi-packs of Hula-Hoops at 89p for 7 packets? That’s no good to me. I don’t even like crisps. Except maybe cheese and onion. They’re okay. And the barbeque beef ones”.

A close friend of McAleese’s confided,

“Marie’s always been up herself. Too snooty for her own good. Who cares if she goes into Lidl? I heard she was in there the previous week wearing a balaclava, carrying a whole clatter of McVitie’s digestive biscuits. Enough to feed an army. That one’s got an eye for a bargain, make no mistake”.

On Monday McAleese allegedly purchased several bags of groceries, including 6 tins of Lidl’s own-brand baked beans, a ‘Fruits of the Forest’ Fresh Cream Luxury Meringue, and a big box of Midget Gems.

“Meringue? Are you having a laugh?” snorted McAleese. “I do all my own home baking. I’d never think about buying a shop-bought meringue. I’d make it at home with, you know, the flour and the milk and the yeast and suchlike. These are just stories making out that I’m some sort of cheapskate”. She went on, “I won’t have my head turned by that place, even if they are selling Carte D’Or Vanilla Ice Cream for £1.50 or £2.50 for two. And anyway, they weren’t digestives. It was Rich Tea I wasn’t buying. 99p a pack. Deadly”.


About Gombeen

Trying hard to make it up.

Posted on November 7, 2013, in Donaghmore, Dungannon and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Dining with Donald

Donald on dining in and out

The Irish Peace Process

Catholic Afterthoughts

Ryan Harper Writing

Short Stories, Poems and Songs and random observations

My Journey:

Me and my daughters journey with a GATA2 deficiency, myelodysplasia, a bone marrow transplant and beyond..............

Amber, Like the Traffic Light

Twenty-something, dog obsessed, book-binging gal

Minimal Belle

Creative, mindful & compassionate living

Blog about Mexico's Must Have Seen

Playa del Carmen, Tulum, Cancun, Riviera Maya, Cenotes, Sian Ka'an, Cozumel, Bacalar, Mahahual, Monterrey...

Blogger, interrupted...

“since our apparitions, the part of us which appears, are so momentary compared with the other, the unseen part of us, which spreads wide, the unseen might survive, be recovered somehow attached to this person or that, or even haunting certain places, after death. Perhaps - perhaps.”

Simplify Your English Blog

Put Your Thoughts into Words Better

%d bloggers like this: