Gareth Gates (not Brooks)

A Fintona couple’s marriage was said tonight to be beyond repair after a misunderstanding saw Bromwyn McQuaid receive two tickets for a Gareth Gates concert in a pub in Dublin instead of the Garth Brooks concert in Croke Park the same night.

Pat McQuaid, who queued for two days in the village for his wife’s 40th birthday present, made the monumental error despite listening to Brooks non-stop for 48 hours on the Main Street and looking at articles on the famed country and western singer:

“He had one thing to do. One buckin thing, and he cocks it up. I’d been boasting and winding up my friends about my Pat queuing for two days, all for my birthday. And he lands home with that boy’s gig. Whilst we’re listening to his version of Unchained Melody in an empty pub in inner-city Dublin, half the country will be dancing away to Standing Outside The Fire. Some 40th. He’s not allowed in til this is sorted.”

Garth Crooks (not Brooks)

Worse still, a Derrytresk man has been permanently thrown out of the house after landing home with two tickets for a Question and Answer session with Garth Crooks, the TV football pundit and ex-Spurs player, in London. Jack Wallace maintains his wife would still enjoy herself if she would broaden her horizons:

“Come on, it was an easy mistake. Brooks hasn’t been playing for years and you sort of forget what he looks like. They don’t look too dissimilar. The wife likes the GAA and this is sort of related as well so if only she’d give it a go and make the best of the blunder. Unlikely though, going by the ‘Jack Wallace Is Some Bollocks’ graffiti she paint-sprayed on my motor.”

Meanwhile, Hugo Duncan has turned down the chance to do the warm-up act every night for Brooks, citing that ‘it should be the other way about’.