Tyrone To Wear Sack Cloth And Ashes After Watershed
RTE face a backlash from the GAA fraternity after it emerged this morning that they will demand Tyrone appear on the field in the semi-final against Kerry wearing a sack cloth each and with ashes on their hair. In addition, there will be deferred coverage of the game after the watershed in case children are influenced by their dasdardly deeds.
RTE spokesman Noel Custard explained:
“Years ago the sack cloth and ashes were a sign of genuine repentance. Now, we’re showing a little mercy to Tyrone by just making them wear ashes on their heads and will forego the need for them to sit ashes as well as that will mess up the Croker turf. Bad enough they’re on it with their northern ways.”
The game will also be aired after 9PM.
Additionally, the Bishop of Dublin will bless the field before the game and will celebrate a decade of the rosary with the Tyrone squad in the midfield area in order to exorcise any previous misdemeanours.
“We’re only interested in maintaining a fair and just society which maybe the northerners aren’t used to. No cute hoors or fraudsters down here atall.”