Scientists Sceptical Over Authenticity of Leaning Cross Of Ardboe

The Leaning Cross of Ardboe.

The Leaning Cross of Ardboe (formerly The Ardboe Cross)

Several scientists arrived in Ardboe this morning to verify that an unusually powerful earthquake caused the famous Ardboe Cross to lean 11 degrees to its left, resulting in a surge of visitors to the historical site.

The Ardboe Heritage Society (AHS) claim that a localised earthquake struck Ardboe last week, measuring 4.4 on their homemade Richter scale, making it the worst earthquake in Ireland since 2888 BC. Despite no one reporting any shaking or noise in the area, the AHS maintained it was so localised that it occurred directly under the Cross, causing it to slant slightly to the side, making it a place of religious, historical and now geological interest. Since the quake, a fee of £10 must be paid by visitors to the Cross.

Professor Pat Brogan remains unconvinced:

“I can see that it’s bent alright but what caused it is a bit of a mystery. There are no fault lines in Ardboe so it’s highly unlikely to experience any earth movement. After a series of tests, I believe that someone simply leaned against it and now they’re making a lot of money out of it. I saw 300 Chinese tourists at it this morning. That’s £3000 in one go. Crooks.”

AHS chairman John John Quinn is disappointed at Prof. Brogan’s findings:

“Ghost oh boys. Sure how could a man move that by leaning against it. It was definitely an earthquake. My son got a B in his GCSE in Geography there and sure he knows what he’s talking about and he says it was a quake alright. Sure the eels have been behaving queerly since that night, like as if they’re nervous or something.”

Quinn added that it’s only £9 for anyone under 16 to see newly named Leaning Cross of Ardboe.


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Posted on August 30, 2015, in Ardboe and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. The night in question when I was passing the graveyard, I happened to notice a courting couple having a knee trembler up against the oul cross. When they had finished and as they looked back at their handy-work they were arguing whose fault it was, he decided it was a 50/50. But she was shouting at him ” It’s all your fault, after all It was you who was doing all the pushing ” I haven’t seen head-nor-tail of them since. Oh the earth moved alright that night but not because of a fault line, it was a fault of man power. PS I thing he should get a cut of the takings


  2. On the night in question, I noticed a courting couple having a knee trembler against the monument. So I hung around for a while (not wanting to intrude) until they were finished. As they hurried away, both still short of breath, they were arguing over who’s fault it was that caused the tilt, He said he would settle for a 50/50 blame. But she was quiet adamant that he was totally at fault ” After all It was you who done all the pushing “. Poor sod I thought to myself, men just can’t win. So there you are the earth didn’t shake that night, but it certainly moved for that courting couple. PS I think it is only fair that poor sod of a man should get a cut….. bnq

    Liked by 1 person

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