Pomeroy Farmer Regrets Insisting To Wife Farming Harder Than Childbirth

o58AZDb

Patsy, before treatment

A farmer from outside Pomeroy has confirmed he’s unlikely to compare the difficulty of some aspects of farming to that of giving birth again after his wife chased him around the yard with a pitchfork, eventually taking advantage of a slip by her loose-tongued husband.

Patsy Grimes (56) maintains a moment of weakness saw him lose the run of himself, especially after his wife told him to stop feeling sorry for himself for complaining about the pain of being kicked by a bull, mid-castration. In a fit of temper, Grimes reportedly said ‘sure the only pain you ever felt was a slight twinge giving birth to Patsy Jnr, Mary and the other one‘ according to Mrs Grimes’ account of the incident to us today.

Neighbour Kieran Kennedy described:

“I was peeling spuds at the kitchen window and saw the head of Patsy running around the back of his house. He suddenly disappeared, slipped presumably, and within seconds I saw the head of Dolores leaping on top of him with a pitchfork in her hand. It was then I heard the yelp.”

After an ambulance quickly carted Grimes to Craigavon to get the pitchfork removed from his buttocks, Mrs Grimes remained unrepentant at her rash punishment for her loose-tongued husband:

“He’ll hardly make that mistake again,”

….Dolores remarked before heading back into the house to finish off watching the Home and Away omnibus.

Patsy Grimes has confirmed he will not press charges against his long-standing wife and has agreed to go on an intensive anger management course in Dungannon run by ex-Tyrone GAA footballer Ryan McMenamin.

Meanwhile, the Irish Pitchfork Society (IPFS) has rejected calls for rubber pitchforks to be made compulsory in Irish farms by 2018 in the wake of the Grimes case:

“They’ll not be any good,”

…fumed the IPFS at a hastily arranged press conference in Omagh.

Advertisements

About Gombeen

Trying hard to make it up.

Posted on May 26, 2016, in GAA, Pomeroy and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 3 Comments.

  1. Jaysus, Man, what are ye talking about? That is not a pitchfork – that is a dung graip!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I pray that my wife never reads this; I’ve done away with my pitchfork just in case.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Fourteen Lines

A Sonnet Obsession

The Irish Peace Process

Catholic Afterthoughts

Ryan Harper Writing

Short Stories, Poems and Songs and random observations

My Journey:

Me and my daughters journey with a GATA2 deficiency, myelodysplasia, a bone marrow transplant and beyond..............

Amber, Like the Traffic Light

Twenty-something, dog obsessed, book-binging gal

Minimal Belle

Creative, mindful & compassionate living

Blog about Mexico's Must Have Seen

Playa del Carmen, Tulum, Cancun, Riviera Maya, Cenotes, Sian Ka'an, Cozumel, Bacalar, Mahahual, Monterrey...

Blogger, interrupted...

“since our apparitions, the part of us which appears, are so momentary compared with the other, the unseen part of us, which spreads wide, the unseen might survive, be recovered somehow attached to this person or that, or even haunting certain places, after death. Perhaps - perhaps.”

Simplify Your English Blog

Put Your Thoughts into Words Better

Anroworld

The only thing better than curling up with a good book to read is sitting down at the computer with a good story to film!

SteveInVancouver

Just another WordPress.com site

%d bloggers like this: