Moy, Co Armagh

Confusion and denial have been words to describe the feelings of the Moy residents this morning after a top geographer from England confirmed that the Moy is now in Armagh after the recent strong winds and will stay there for a few million years.

Satellite images from the International Space Station indicated a geographical land shift in this particular area, with most of the Moy now on the southern side of the Blackwater. Doubt is now also being cast on the legitimacy of the All Ireland wins by Tyrone in the 2000s with any points scored by Moy players reportedly struck off their final tally.

Moy-proud mother Natalie Donaghy admitted she felt something change last week:

“I woke up the morning after the storm and had a real craving for apples and cheap diesel. That night I downed two bottles of Buckfast and that never happens. I even have replaced the picture of the Pope with one of Kieran McGeeney. The earth definitely moved that night.”

Unfortunately, there are calls for the 2008 All Ireland to be awarded to Kerry and the 2005 final to be replayed after scores by Moy players were chalked off. The 2003 final, ironically against Armagh, is untouched due to bad shooting from Moy men that day. Marsden was still retrospectively sent off for punching his own man, Philip Jordan.

Meanwhile, another land shift has seen Aughnacloy moved into Monaghan but no one has batted an eyelid about that.