In a controversial move, the Tyrone Council are to start charging farmers for rain tax from January 1st 2020, irrespective of what they are farming.

Due to budgetary concerns, the county’s officials have attempted to stem the financial tide by charging farmers for any form of precipitation including drizzle and soft hail.

Any farmers resisting payment of the rain tax will be subjected to the full force of the law according to the council’s meteorological minister Pat Spaniel:

Why should these farmers be allowed to sit back and rub their hands when it rains? All they’re thinking about is the size of their tomatoes or strawberries whilst the rest of us run for cover or get our death from the wet. And this is a warning – we’re looking at a sun tax for the hay farmers.”

How the tax will be charged has yet to be confirmed though it is believed that farmers will be charged £50 for every half hour that it rains.

Meanwhile, the Christmas Lights will be turned on in Galbally this weekend. Guest of honour will be one of the Kardashians who are well known for their love of the Galballian culture and people. Kanye West has confirmed he’ll do the bingo in the hall on the same night and will sing if asked.