A survey carried out by the Galbally Ramblers Society in conjunction with KFC revealed that over 80% of Tyrone wives have considered maintaining mask wearing and social distancing within the household for the foreseeable future.

The 800 responses to the survey also threw up other startling facts which may have repercussions for years to come. Over 94% of wives revealed lockdown confirmed that their husbands are no more useful around the house when they’re there permanently than they are for the normal much shorter periods such as after work or at the weekends.

GRS chairperson Bernadette Conlon confirmed that she’s not surprised at the results:

I can only talk about my own situation. I’ve convinced my husband to wear the mask 24 hrs a day and it has been like a second honeymoon. I’m also very strict about the 2m rule, even in the middle of the night. It’s class. We’ve written to Robin Swann about these findings. If he has any interest in promoting a positive mindset, he’ll enforce these things in the house for another 2 years at least.

In other news, Stewartstown has moved up to No. 377 in the list of the World’s Most Desirable weekend destinations. The Stewartstown Pipe Band will parade for free tomorrow in celebration. Due to current enforcements, they’ll only play one song – Tin Town Races.