The final nail was driven into the argument that Sean McLaughlin’s point should have stood in the All Ireland Final of 1995 against Dublin after the English PM Boris Johnson today said that Canavan ‘definitely definitely’ touched it on the ground before passing to McLaughlin.

Johnson, who has a history of integrity and accuracy, claims he watched the match recently on Sky TV despite it not being on the schedule. When pushed on this, Johnson told a joke about three men in a bar, winked and then went for a cycle.

The Tyrone County Board admitted that this was devastating news but have now resigned themselves to not getting a replay 27 years on.

“That’s that then. Our last hope was that Johnson would see what we saw, but he’s siding with Paddy Russell and we have to accept it. The man is never wrong. We were hoping he’d look at a free we should have received in the ’86 final against Kerry but there’s no point now.”

Johnson also said Tyrone should have had more than 4 players sent off against the orange men in the league this year which was greeted with loud cheers from the DUP benchers behind him.