Tyrone To Heat By 10 Degrees By 2030. Flights May Be Redirected From Santa Ponsa To Ardboe.

Scientists have warned Tyrone Tourism Board (TTB) to start thinking about rebranding the county as a getaway hot-weather holiday destination after they predicted that the county’s temperature will see them hit 40 degrees on a daily basis, even in March and November.

Already, a public vote will take place next Friday to decide whether all lough shore place names should have Costa del before it, with Costa del Derrylaughan already the favourite area to have its name changed first. Locals have also been told to start growing olive trees and think about selling sunglasses and hair beads.

Belfast Airport has admitted they’re open to having a runway in Ardboe for the 30-second journey across the Lough for people from Belfast or County Down.

Inland areas such as Galbally and Pomeroy have been told to construct water parks and bull-fighting arenas.

TTB spokesperson Phil Begley maintains this is a great opportunity for the county:

“Deadly news. There’ll be a pile of women and men with sculpted bodies and tans running about and if we can sell them some of the tight 80s GAA shorts it’ll do wonders for Gaelic games. Piri piri Chicken will be a Kildress delicacy.”

On the downside, a hosepipe ban will be enforced from 2027 which will see permanent shite on many pavements.


About Gombeen

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Posted on April 6, 2023, in Ardboe, Derrylaughan, Galbally, Pomeroy and tagged . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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