Sheep And Cows To Replace Sniffer Dogs As Budget Cuts Hit PSNI

Farmers across the county are being offered incentives to give up their best detective livestock after it emerged that sniffer dogs are to be phased out due to the cost of maintaining the highly trained canines.

Already, sixteen cows and five bulls have been through an extensive training course to sniff out drugs, bodies, firearms and illegal distilleries, up in a remote part of north Tyrone under the Sperrin mountains. The cattle have experienced mixed success during early missions, with one cow wrecking a house near Galbally whilst searching the premises for a stolen box of Snickers from the local newsagent. The house was wrongly identified, with the PSNI currently embroiled in a £1.2m claim for damages.

Policing spokesperson Samuel Clinker added:

“The cattle need a bit of work but some of the sheep are first class at sniffing out narcotics. We uncovered over £3m of cocaine in Pomeroy after one of our sheep discovered the stash whilst sniffing its own excrement. Sniffer dogs will become a thing of the past.”

However, there are fears that some cattle and sheep will be targeted by hitmen if they prove to be outstanding in their fields.


About Gombeen

Trying hard to make it up.

Posted on May 26, 2023, in Galbally, Pomeroy and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

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