The Northern Ireland Education Authority have moved to raise the spirits of locals after the recent rainy weather by releasing some of the more surreal answers given to GSCE questions by a selection of Tyrone pupils.

Listed below are some of the answers:

Q. What is the correct name for a row of houses in Carrickmore joined together.
A. Terrorist Housing.

Q. What food was laid on for the Last Supper?
A. Probably black puddin and cabbage. It didn’t say.

Q. A new fashion business is opening in Omagh. Is Omagh a prime location for such a business?
A. No. Omagh people aren’t fashionable.

Q. As the crow flies, how many miles are there between Coalisland and Omagh?
A. With the new road, you don’t need a crow now.

Q. Can a man reproduce with only one testicle?
A. Can’t see it. Be hard to pull a woman in Sally’s.

Q. What is a female moth?
A. A myth

Q. Give an example of Intensive Farming in Loughmacrory?
A. It’s when oul McNabb won’t take a day off..

Q. Give an example of a wholesaler in Coalisland
A. It’s when Landi’s give you a whole fish instead of a shrimp.

Q. What do Mahatma Gandhi and Hugo Duncan have in common?
A. Unusual names.

Q. You live in Galbally. Name the 4 seasons.
A. Vinegar, salt, brown sauce and mustard.

Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink in the Torrent river?
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutant like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

Q: Explain Global Warming
A: A load of bollocks says my daddy.

Q. What happened in Ireland in 1798?
A. Kerry won the All-Ireland, probably.

Q. Name five animals you would see wild in Brocagh
A. Four badgers and a mink

Q. Why would a telecommunicatons mast be bad for health in Killeeshil?
A. You might walk into it.

Q. How can you avoid flooding around Lough Neagh?
A. By placing a few big dames in it.

Q. If the traffic lights in Urney show red, what do you do?
A. Phone the police. Someone stole traffic lights.