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Tyrone Man Fails To Land Top Gear Job After Trial Episode

19egdqg2nxr70jpgA Strabane motoring enthusiast, tipped by locals to be as good as Jeremy Clarkson in terms of knowledge of cars, has failed to impress BBC producers following a dry run at presenting the show yesterday.

John O’Connell (44) is said to be fuming at the decision, accusing Top Gear officials of not thinking outside the box when it comes to presentational style. BBC bosses however rejected the criticism and reiterated their belief that the presenter cannot simply say “Jaysus boys thon’s tara” for every car he tries out.

Footage leaked from the pilot show sees O’Connell raking about in a new Audi shouting comments like ‘yeehar‘ and ‘shoe til the burd boys, shoe til the burd‘ before getting out of it, kicking the tyres, and turning to the camera, saying ‘Jaysus boys thon’s tara“. The exact same scenario followed when he tested out a new BMW.

O’Connell defended his style:

“Everyone has a catchphrase. If I’d been given a fair deal, everyone would be saying ‘Jaysus boys thon’s tara’ from the playground to business meetings, after a few episodes. BBC are just playing it safe and that’s disappointingly short-sighted from them.”

BBC also released footage of O’Connell using bleeped-out expletives during crucial scenes. One example showed the Strabane man shouting ‘f**k me boys, that’s deadly‘ after doing a handbrake turn in a Ferrari.

O’Connell maintains he will attempt to keep his presenting dream alive by applying for a job on The Sunday Game on RTE as a cover for Joe Brolly who is reportedly eyeing up the X-Factor role.

Newmills Mechanic Nearly The Dearest In Europe

old-man-laughingBy Aughoughilley Schniffles

 

It has been revealed in recent EU cost comparison analysis that a mechanic inNewmills has the second most expensive per hourly rate in Europe, coming behind only a Ferrari garage in Rome.

Dunlop changing oil filters

Dunlop changing oil filters

 

Sammy ‘Wolfetone’ Dunlop has brushed aside any criticism of high prices laid at his door, blaming “local pressures” on his hugely excessive prices.
 
He told Tyrone Tribulations
 
“Luck-see, there’s a rake of reasons why we need till charge like we do. First you have the dippers about this time of year. They love a bit of overtime in the long evenings. Sure ’cause of the manoeuvres taken to avoid the dippers, we see all sorts through the gates here; new gear boxes, new engines, not to mention fuel filters!  That wee Lithuanian lad has been changing one an hour this last week- haven’t ye Dmitri?.”
 
Dunlop has been fixing cars in the area for over thirty years and has defended his pricing saying that people still come to him for business despite his £99 emergency fee, just for calling between Monday and Friday. His continuing business success is partly thought to be because other mechanics in the area have five-week waiting times, so it’s either ‘Wolfetone’s or walk’, as they say around Newmills.
 
‘Wolfetone’ went on:
 
“Yous boys come here talking about me being dear an all that – sure you just have till look at the bonfires, and the tyres that get used up there, hi. Sure coming up to the twelfth and between now and Halloween you couldn’t keep a tyre about the place for love nor… well, just for love.”
 
When asked about the raffle for the signed Eddie Irvine T-shirt and race balaclava set which has been running in his shop since 1996, some 18 years ago, Dunlop declined to comment.
paul g moss

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