A gathering of 5600 sky enthusiasts were left disappointed and angry after social media outlets wrongly reported a clear and permanent sighting of the Aurora Borealis (Northern Lights) on Saturday and Sunday nights in Tattyreagh. Locals have denied it was another ploy to raise funds for the football club.
Skygazers from as far afield as Russia and Taiwan converged on the small townland only to discover the lights were simply Omagh in the distance.
Japanese astronomy expert Jon Hi was particularly upset after flying to Ireland with 140 of his countrymen:
“Some shower. I read on Twitter that the North Pole’s Aurora Borealis were brilliant in Tattyreagh. After finding it on the map, we made a 15000 mile journey only to find out it’s just the new streetlights Omagh up the road. I’m mightily pissed off with Tattyreagh and I’m going to blacken its name in Japan forever more.”
Tattyreagh Tourism Director Killian Hanratty denies it was a devious ploy to boost tourism to the area:
“They’re scandalous accusations being bandied about by them Fintona ones. I can’t deny that we’ve made serious money from the crisps and mineral stall we happened to have on the side of the road beside the big field that people were congregating on. 5000 thirsty people afterall. The proceeds will go towards new toilet facilities at the football pitch.”
This is the second time Tattyreagh has featured in the international news for a mistaken phenomenon. In 1986, thousands again flocked to Tattyreagh to see Halley’s Comet which had reportedly fallen onto the football field. It was later proven to be a Superser gas heater with all bars on. The money taken from the crisps and mineral stall that year paid for the football club’s new stand.
If true, this is not the first time a Tyrone village has been affected by questionable behaviour. In 1964 Pomeroy was completely ignored by the Clauses after a wrecking session in the AOH Hall outside the Diamond when the Plunketts won the Junior Championship.
The disgruntled Elf, ‘Charlie’, leaked the list after he was told he wouldn’t be on the sleigh again on Christmas Eve – the 32nd consecutive year he’d have to sit it out. 39 names from Ireland were on the supposed naughty list; 31 from Carrickmore, 6 from Dublin and 2 from Keady. Charlie was clear as to why Carrickmore were badly hit:
“After they went out of the championship to Clonoe early on we expected a small bit of messing but they wrecked about for the guts of two weeks. Broken lamp posts, men falling into hedges and shouting at the children were the main offences. Of the 31 on the list, 24 are squad members, 6 uncles of players, and the parish priest. Mr Claus was rubbing his hands at the thought of not having to go up the Termon Road the year.”
Meanwhile, Ballygawley Roundabout spokesperson Sheila Bryans has reminded Santa of the need to adhere to road etiquette at all times:
“We’re sick of the Clauses leaving the roundabout in tatters every year. He just goes straight through the middle of it and leaves the bushes in s***e. One more time, and we’ll be waiting on him next year. And yes, that is a threat.”
North Pole PR secretary promised to be more careful this year but blamed Ardboe residents for leaving whiskey out for the reindeer every year.