Blog Archives

Tom Hanks To Expect No Preferential Treatment If Cast Away 2 Set In Urney

Hanks for Urney?

Hanks for Urney?

Following intense social media speculation that Cast Away 2 possibly starring Tom Hanks again is to be set in Urney in West Tyrone, local dignitaries have warned the multi-Oscared actor that he should expect no preferential treatment from local businesses or services for the duration of his stay near the Donegal border.

Twitter and Facebook were awash with rumours that a second instalment of the feature film, which starred Tom Hanks as a successful systems engineer who falls out of a plane and ends up living on an island for four years talking to a ball and growing his beard, is to be set in one of the remotest parts of the planet with no Internet with Urney emerging as an odds-on favourite.

Urney, which means ‘deadly quiet’ in Irish, also came close to landing the location of Mississippi Burning in 1988 but eventually lost out to Mississippi. Lord Mayor of Urney Prionsias Pilatey sent an important signal to the production team of Cast Away 2:

“We’re not star-struck type of people. In fact we’re the opposite. It that bollocks Hanks arrives here in his BMW and starts ordering caviar for breakfast served by a 38-year old virgin then he’s another thing coming. We have neither of those things here anyway.”

After intensive research, the Tyrone Tribulations media team could find no official plans to make another Cast Away and traced the origin of the rumour to the Twitter account of Strabane teenager Terence Wiley (@thestraman) who tweeted ‘no fcukin internet signal in Urney. It’s like Cast Away 2.”

Tom Hanks was unavailable for comment or something to that effect.

Shock And Anger Over Grimes/McKee Oscar Snub. Hedges Burnt.

Snubbed again in America

Snubbed again in America

For the 19th consecutive year, many film aficionados across the county have resorted to violence after Donaghmore man Conor Grimes and his Coleraine comic compatriot Alan McKee were overlooked at the 87th Academy Awards ceremony in LA on Sunday night.

The Donaghmore Road was said to be ‘ablaze alright‘ after fans of the famous pair went on the rampage in Newmills, Pomeroy and in Grimes’ homeplace of Donaghmore, burning hedges and overturning apple-carts. In Coleraine, angry graffiti was daubed on a wall near the Diamond shopping centre including ‘you can stick your gongs up yer holes‘ and ‘for feck sake, lads

A friend of the pair informed us that this may be the last straw:

“We’re rightly hacked off, so we are. That’s 19 years running these lads have been overlooked. I wouldn’t be surprised if the two packed it in and went back to the undertaking. Grimes even changed his name from Connor to Conor in order to appease the American audience. It’s fixed so it is. Tom Hanks and Julia Roberts haven’t a patch on these two.”

McKee reportedly purchased a blue tuxedo in The Moy at the weekend, ‘in case they FaceTime us as a surprise‘ he was heard telling shoppers. Grimes had reportedly been on a no-fry diet since last month and was said to be practising smiling and crying.

The pair, who are currently touring the country with their play ‘St Mungo’s Luganulk‘, were unavailable for comment although locals commented that Grimes appeared bleary eyed coming out of an off-licence in Dungannon at 2pm, having stayed up all night to watch the awards show with his loyal dog Malachi.

The news adds to a barren run at the Oscars for the Tyrone movie scene. The last trophy to reside in the county was in 1959 by Galbally director John ‘The Red’ Talbot whose 15-minute subtitled Short Film ‘The Dufflecoat Man’, which depicted a day in the life of a door-to-door pitch fork and rake seller in the area, won a whopping 13 awards.

paul g moss

Theories in Education

Ground*ed Hito

Be the light of your own kind.

Scribbles from me to you

My poetry & prose

Life with Saoirse

The ups, downs, laughter and tears of life in a complex family

Kilbarchan Pipe Band Blog

Registered Charity SC045878

The Media Student's Book Blog

Film and media education

Lucid Being💫

The Art Or Endeavour Of Being Lucid In A World We Live In... Secrets Of The Psychics... Energy, Universe, Futurism, Film, Empowerment...Digital Abstract Art Rendering...

In Dianes Kitchen

Recipes showing step by step directions with pictures and gadget reviews

Video Games Guide - PS Vita, PS3, Xbox , Wii - BestVideoGames.site

Video Games Guide - PS Vita, PS3, Xbox , Wii

Naturesl0vers

All about nature

Dining with Donald

Donald on Dining in and Out.

Fourteen Lines

A Sonnet Obsession

The Irish Peace Process

Catholic Afterthoughts

Ryan Harper Writing

Short Stories, Poems and Songs and random observations

%d bloggers like this: