Coalisland Man Destroys Kiwi Fruit Stall After New Zealand Defeat

Kiwis, before the kicking

Kiwis, before the kicking

Coalisland writer Roy Sherry has admitted to completely decimating a local supermarket’s fruit section, and in particular the kiwis, in a fit of temper after the heartbreaking Irish loss to New Zealand in a rugby test in Dublin today. Sherry, the town’s only rugby fanatic, was described as possessing ‘mad eyes on him’ as he rampaged his way through Newell Stores half an hour after the game.

Shelf operator Kitty McGlone described:

“Jaysus he was fit to be tied. I knew he was fierce passionate about Ireland rugby but this was frightening. He kept shouting ‘where are the buckin kiwis?’ but we’d have plenty of people shouting things like that every day so no one batted an eyelid. I saw him run straight at the fruit section like an Olympic sprinter and do a two-footed mid-air sliding tackle on the kiwi punnets.”

Eyewitnesses described him jumping up and down on the kiwis shouting, ‘how do yiz like this haka, yiz Oceanic buckers’ and other similar phrases. Shop manager Mary Newell (49) intervened when a crowd began to gather to encourage the stamping session:

“By the time I got there, men were goading him into destroying any product with all-black packaging on it. As soon as I saw him pull down his trouser zip I rugby tackled him before things escalated. Sherry remarked that I could show Tommy Bowe a lesson or two, which I was secretly chuffed about.”

This was the second successive week Sherry has been caught taking a rugby defeat badly. Seven days ago he was evicted from two pubs in the town after the Australia win over Ireland, for firing his pint glass through both pubs’ TV screens for showing Celebrity Get Me Outta Here, set in the Aussie outback.

PSNI officials let Sherry off with a final warning

Advertisements

About Gombeen

Trying hard to make it up.

Posted on November 24, 2013, in Coalisland and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

University of York Careers

Developing your employability

Ryan Harper Writing

Short Stories, Poems and Songs and random observations

My Journey:

Me and my daughters journey with a GATA2 deficiency, myelodysplasia, a bone marrow transplant and beyond..............

Minimal Belle

Simple, elegant and intentional living on a budget.

Blog about Mexico's Must Have Seen

Playa del Carmen, Tulum, Cancun, Riviera Maya, Cenotes, Sian Ka'an, Cozumel, Bacalar, Mahahual, Monterrey...

Blogger, interrupted...

“since our apparitions, the part of us which appears, are so momentary compared with the other, the unseen part of us, which spreads wide, the unseen might survive, be recovered somehow attached to this person or that, or even haunting certain places, after death. Perhaps - perhaps.”

Simplify Your English Blog

Put Your Thoughts into Words Better

Anroworld

The only thing better than curling up with a good book to read is sitting down at the computer with a good story to film!

SteveInVancouver

Just another WordPress.com site

That Football Analysis

A New Way of Discussing the Beautiful Game

Le Blog BlookUp

Imprimez et transformez vos contenus digitaux, blogs et réseaux sociaux, en magnifiques livres papier sur blookup.com

Brenners Mc Goo Blogger

Passionate about travel, adventures and exploration. Lover of the natural world... obsessed with natural cosmetics, growing your own and yoga!

%d bloggers like this: