Tyrone SF Politician Pointed At Stuff In Windsor Castle to Save Taxpayers’ Money On Interpreter
Barney McEldruff, a minor Sinn Fein politician who was invited to Windsor Castle as part of the Irish President’s visit to London, was hailed as a financial do-gooder after he refused the use of an interpreter during the dinner and simply pointed at things he wanted.
London officials had expressed concern earlier in the week that the presence of someone from Carrickmore would cost taxpayers millions due to the astronomical costs of interpreters in the city. Sinn Fein were also aware of the adverse publicity such a move would create and had tried to put off McEldruff by warning him about the floods over there and the amount of pickpocketers there might be prowling around England.
Undettered, the novice politician was adamant he would attend the function as his name came out of the hat during the half time draw at the recent Ard Fheis.
“I know the Carrickmore accent can be wild hard to comprehend, especially outside of Pomeroy, but I was confident I could point at things I wanted during the dinner, like. And so it panned out. I successfully pointed at the soup, spuds, lamb, peas and lemon pie. No bother like.”
McEldruff admitted there were a few awkward moments as the night progressed:
“Yes, well the pints were flying and ordering those was easy. I just did the pint-down-neck gesture. However I was bursting for the toilet. I was shouting ‘bogs’ but the butlers and maids couldn’t understand. So I pulled down my cacks and took the boyo out and pointed to it. Next thing I was being thrown out of the castle by two burly guards. I gave that queen’s daffodils some watering though.”
The Carrickmore man concluded that London wasn’t ‘all that deadly‘ and that they ‘hardly knew anything about diesel and stuff‘.