A Clady man determined to make it big in the pop charts was left bitterly disappointed on Sunday when his debut single narrowly missed out making it into the top 10,000.

BY SHENGAS MCGLUMPHIE

Following in the shoes of country singer sensation Nathan Carter who has enjoyed considerable success with a cover of Bob Dylan’s ‘Wagon Wheel’, 37-year old Jerome Hughes from Clady attempted to re-create similar success with a self-penned song entitled ‘Custard Cream’.

Failed to chart

“It came to me all of a sudden when I was having my tae one day”, explained Hughes. “Why should the Carter cub have it all his own way with songs about chocolate biscuits? Can’t say I’ve listened to his record all the way through, but I’ve heard enough to know that if he can make a buckin’ fortune singing about Wagon Wheels, then I should be able to do the same with Custard Creams. And at least Custard Creams haven’t got smaller in size over the years. Bet young Carter doesn’t mention that inconvenient truth in his fancy song, eh?”

Hughes’ initial song-writing started out with an early effort entitled, ‘Terry’s Chocolate Orange’, but immediately encountered rhyming difficulties. He fared much better with Custard Cream, but fails to understand its lack of radio success, commercial success, critical success, or in fact any type of success whatsoever.

The song, which several observers have accused of bearing a suspicious likeness to Wagon Wheel, goes,

Scoff me on the land or you can munch me on the sea

You can shove me in yer bake or you can dunk me in your tea

Hey, baby eat me

Eat me by the packet or just eat me one by one

You can eat me when you’re hungry you can eat me just for fun

Hey, baby eat me

The song continues in a similar theme,

Come and eat me baby I’m the biscuit eater’s dream

You can go to paradise just eating one wee Custard Cream

Hey, baby eat me

Shop around to buy me use some shopper’s common sense

In Dungannon’s Newell Stores I’m only thirty-seven pence

Hey, baby eat me

Rumours surfaced late yesterday from a source in Strabane that Hugo Duncan has blacklisted the song on account of being a Garibaldi fan.