DUP’s Proposed Tax On Ginger Babies ‘A Step Too Far’ Says Voters

Red Headed Ginger Celtic-0192iiheui

Following recent negative coverage, the DUP are teetering on the brink of implosion after it was revealed that, if successful in Fermanagh/South Tyrone this election, they will propose a hefty tax on ginger babies born in the constituency from September 2015 onwards.

A leaked document, found under a pallet of strawberries outside a vegetable shop in the Moy, explains the party’s thinking when it comes to hair colouring and how gingerism is seen as a sign of rebellion and possible republicanism, with a picture of Martin McGuinness used as way of example.

A DUP voter from Moygashel was adamant he will not be lending his vote to the party in next month’s elections:

“I was uncomfortable with the whole gay issue but this takes the biscuit. I’ve been voting DUP for over 20 years and in that time I have courted manys a ginger woman and they’ve all been dead on and some of them were even Unionists. I’m voting Independent this year.”

Coalisland barber Herbie Lyons was not surprised at the revelation:

“This is just another nail in their coffin. Like my friend from Moygashel above, I’ve walked out with plenty of redheads before and they’ve been fine. Some just had a red head and weren’t ginger at all but that’s besides the point. Up the gingers and down with follicle-bashing.”

A DUP spokesperson claims the party remain unapologetic regarding their stance on gingerism and warned Unionists that if people do not vote for their party because of the redhead issue then they may be prepared for a United Ireland by 2020 run by a parliament of Maureen O’Haras and Ed Sheerans.

Advertisements

About Gombeen

Trying hard to make it up.

Posted on April 28, 2015, in Coalisland, Moy, Moygashel and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Minimal Belle

Simple, elegant and intentional living on a budget.

Blog about Mexico's Must Have Seen

Playa del Carmen, Tulum, Cancun, Riviera Maya, Cenotes, Sian Ka'an, Cozumel, Bacalar, Mahahual, Monterrey...

Blogger, interrupted...

“since our apparitions, the part of us which appears, are so momentary compared with the other, the unseen part of us, which spreads wide, the unseen might survive, be recovered somehow attached to this person or that, or even haunting certain places, after death. Perhaps - perhaps.”

Simplify Your English Blog

Put Your Thoughts into Words Better

Anroworld

The only thing better than curling up with a good book to read is sitting down at the computer with a good story to write

SteveInVancouver

Just another WordPress.com site

That Football Analysis

A New Way of Discussing the Beautiful Game

Le Blog BlookUp

Imprimez et transformez vos contenus digitaux, blogs et réseaux sociaux, en magnifiques livres papier !

My Journey:

Me and my daughters journey with a GATA2 deficiency, myelodysplasia, a bone marrow transplant and beyond..............

Brenners Mc Goo Blogger

Passionate about travel, adventures and exploration. Lover of the natural world... obsessed with natural cosmetics, growing your own and yoga!

Me Otherwise

Life,Books & Travel

Revers Osmosis Water Purification

Advance Water Treatment and purification systems

Junior Chills

Writing original songs...enticing you to come along

Dave Kavanagh.

Clinging to the sides

yearning curve

agitpop resistance songs

My new life: Bulgaria

After hooking up with a Bearded man and realising it was inevitable that I moved out here to Bulgaria, here is the story so far in pictures.

Uldis blog

The only way to get love is to be lovable. It's very irritating if you have a lot of money. You'd like to think you could write a check: 'I'll buy a million dollars' worth of love.' But it doesn't work that way. The more you give love away, the more you get. - Warren Buffet

%d bloggers like this: