New CCTV Cameras In Coalisland – We Ask ‘What’s Going On?’
With the news that more CCTV cameras are to be installed in Coalisland, we got out and about the famous town to find out what the locals make of it::
“It’s the Chinese. I heard that they’re recording it all and then presenting it as the Chinese Big Brother show but it has to be heavily edited because of the debauchery.”
“Mechanical traffic wardens. The human ones don’t last a craic so now the DoE have installed robot wardens disguised as camera. We’ll see how long they last.”
“It’s the Rahillys. We’ve been beating them the guts of 10 years now so now they’re spying on our ways and habits. I urge all Fianna ones to do the opposite of what they normally do. Go to work etc and boycott the pubs.”
“The Brits. First it was roundabouts, then traffic lights and now this. They’re trying to normalise us. Hopefully us Islanders will continue to do what we do with the lights and roundabouts – completely ignore them.”
“I think it’s the Jobseeker’s Allowance ones. I’ve already warned the family not to be seen in work clothes or to leave the back doors of vans open. And don’t be walking about with Family Circle tins under your arm. Just look sad and beg for money when near the cameras.”
We at Tyrone Tribulations will monitor the situation and will report immediately any findings. Theresa May was unavailable for comment.