A rare sight

Leading boffins at Queen’s University have confirmed that ‘man-cold’ can have just as equally debilitating effects as man-flu does, at any time of year. 

Symptoms such as being unable to put the bin out this week and losing the ability to make a cup of tea have been cited as classic signs of mancold according to scientist Prof Barry Donnelly from Belfast:

“We’ve long suspected that man-cold can be compared to man-flu in many ways and recent observations have confirmed this. We observed three men in the early stages of a mild head cold and they displayed typical signs such as laying on the sofa feeling sorry for themselves, to shouting at the children for trivial things. In fact, being unable to do any family activities was the confirmation we needed.”

Man-cold sufferers have been advised to avoid looking for sympathy from spouses and to definitely refrain from comparing the head cold to child birth at all costs. Three man-colders suffered severe bruising in east Tyrone last week after refusing to attend a ‘Back-To-School’ information evening for parents in Moortown, citing being unwell.

Doctors have asked man-cold sufferers to drink a glass of water and to get up.