ERFSW (Equal Rights For Stewartstown Women) have admitted they stole 23 manholes from the Stewartstown and Cookstown area at the weekend under the cover of darkness. 

Spokesperson for the new group, Mary Devlin, maintains that this is just the start of a much needed fight back against neutral things that have been masculine for centuries.

“Why not womanholes? We don’t want them to be called womanholes, like, but we’re just pointing out the madness of it all. Peopleholes is acceptable so it is. And don’t start me about Neil Armstrong and his mankind talk. The next time I see him he’ll know about it. We’re thinking of giving the fingers to the International Space Station the next time it flies over. And I’ll wallop the next person who says I manhandled them.”

ERFSW have already launched a legal bit to get all ‘manslaughter’ charges renamed as well as ‘manpower’ banned from the Oxford English Dictionary. They will also return all peopleholes next week and have promised to pump funds into any claims for flat tyres caused by the missing holes.

Meanwhile, Tyrone men have been voted the ‘Most Likely To Have Blonde Highlights’ for the sixteenth year in a row by the international magazine Cosmopolitan.