This morning GAA authorities have confirmed that they will liven up behind-closed-doors GAA games by playing recorded abuse towards the referee from the crowd in order to create a better spectacle for the TV. 

A meeting was held this morning to identify the most common insults and the committee settled on many favourites which will create a sense of nostalgia for supporters sitting at home. They include:

‘You’re a cheating lousy bastard’, ‘Useless C**t’, ‘what do you expect from a (insert county/club here) bollocks’, ‘He’ll give us nothing the hoor!’ ‘Are your eyes painted on?’ ‘You’re a f**king wanker!’ ‘You forget your cards ye dick?’ ‘you’re a disgrace (insert surname here), just be fair!’

as well as other favourites. Referees have also been asked to add to the list if they can recall some from their own experiences.

The committee has also added some player abuse such as ‘if it was a fish supper you’d catch it’ but didn’t want to create offence by using too many.

Meanwhile, Croke Park officials are also considering asking TV spectators to pay a fiver to watch the games on the TV as well as uploading pictures of themselves onto social media sites eating ham sandwiches and opening flasks of tea whilst sitting in makeshift boots in their living rooms.