Cookstown Foiled In Devious Bid To Become Hottest Place On Record. Thermometer Found In Glove Compartment In Datsun Sunny.
Cookstown’s attempt to oust Castlederg’s standing as the hottest place in the north of Ireland was foiled after it emerged their 36.6°C claim today was achieved by placing the town’s big thermometer in the glove compartment of a 1987 Datsun Sunny Estate.
The news follows on from Armagh being stripped of their claim when it was discovered that their big thermometer was placed beside a stove in a house near Maghery which still baked sodas over an open fire.
Stories have since emerged that the ’87 Datsun was owned by Owen Mulligan who organised the ruse in a bid to get people to flock to his pub in Cookstown for the weekend’s All-Ireland semi-final.
Barra Best, who checks record temperatures all over the world, revealed that today’s record most certainly won’t count:
“It most certainly won’t count. I nearly passed out when I opened the door of the Datsun. The ripped leather seats were smoking. Castlederg is still the hottest. Fact.”
Meanwhile, Kerry County Board have tabled a motion not to allow Tyrone supporters cheer over 10 decibels this weekend due to the levels of the virus in Mid-Ulster at present. Tyrone fans are to practice cheering ‘no louder than the sound of a leaf falling’ confirmed GAA HQ today.