East Tyrone Woman Beats Shit Out Of Christmas Tree Over Lights Issue
A middle-aged loughshore woman, who has been described as a previously calm and measured member of the community, had to be sedated on Sunday night after her 3000-bulb Christmas tree lights refused to turn on despite working before being put on the tree.
The lady in question was dragged from the tree at midnight by her husband and children, only after she had subjected the tree to a ‘wild beating’ as well as a sustained verbal volley of abuse over the course of two hours.
Despite turning the tree on and off over 50 times, replacing the fuse, trying different plugs and extension leads, praying, three cups of tea and a bottle of gin, and face-timing a local electrician at 11pm, the lights were violently pulled off the tree and kicked into the shed just after midnight. She then viciously attacked the tree and threatened to ‘put it up where the sun don’t shine’ on anyone who tried to stop her.
The family doctor managed to sedate the tree-attacker and has told the family not to tell her that the lights are now working again.