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Tyrone GAA Club Regrets Holding AGM In Pub

Windmill cheerleaders from 1959

Windmill cheerleaders from 1959

A recently reformed GAA club revealed they will run another AGM later in the month after a raft of ridiculous motions were passed whilst committee members drank the bar dry on the shores of Lough Neagh.

Windmill GAA, who once terrorised gaels across the county , held their first AGM in 35 years at The Battery Bar in Ardboe last Friday night, running from 9pm to 1am and then in someone’s house til 6am. It wasn’t until members woke up later on that day that they realised they would need to have a second go at the meeting.

Some of the motions passed initially but under review now are:

  • Rounding up a pile of women from the local roads on match days to act as cheerleaders for home games
  • Rename the club as the Windmill Corncrakes
  • Announcer calls out bingo numbers after every point is scored
  • Dancing nuns at half time
  • Encourage chanting in crowd..eg..’youse are dead’ etc.
  • Priest to throw ball in blindfolded and then has to make it off before he gets kicked
  • New club crest consisting of real cannibalism

Chairman Lenny McGuigan conceded they needed to return to the drawing board:

“Yes, to be honest I can’t remember any of those motions at all. We were blind drunk on brandy ball home brew. Let that be a lesson to all clubs across the county. Keep the AGM dry. But we used to have cheerleaders y’know.”

Meanwhile, Tyrone GAA Central County have yet to ratify Windmill’s licence due to unresolved acts of depravity dating back to 1961.

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