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Poor Quality Of Australian Cabbage And Bacon Crucial To McShane Decision

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Ten days of sub-standard cabbage and bacon was reportedly the final straw for Cathal McShane after it was confirmed he will stay in Tyrone for 2020 instead of Adelaide.

Preferring the bleak and miserable setting of Leckpatrick, McShane was said to be dismayed at the presentation and texture of his favourite meal of champ, three sausages, brown sauce and a bacon and cabbage combo which he has eaten every day since he was 7.

Close friend and confidante Kieran ‘Tootsie’ Bagule revealed that this was only the tip of the iceberg:

There was no Emmerdale either or nothing. Corned beef sandwiches were also almost impossible to locate in Adelaide. And the tea was shite.

He also confirmed that McShane was asked to sing an initiation song at his first training session. The fact that no one knew who Garth Brooks was after he belted out ‘Friends In Low Places’ confirmed his decision to leave.

Rumours that his Adelaide Crows teammates complained of having to wear sunglasses during meetings, due to his bright white skin colour, were said to be exaggerated.

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