Clady not ready for Take That

  BY SHENGAS MCGLUMPHIE

A Clady-based bricklayer yesterday resigned after allegations from colleagues that a playlist of the pop group ‘Take That’ had been discovered on his phone.

34-year old Dermot Grimes announced that he intended to quit his job with Clady firm Surebuild Construction with immediate effect to “spend more time with his family”, but denied any playlist wrongdoing.

“Me? Take That?” he said. “I don’t like Take That and never have. Personally I prefer proper music like Kasabian, The Saw Doctors, The Killers, and suchlike. Quite why people think I have a soft spot for Gary, Mark, Jason and Howard or whatever their names are, I have no idea. And I’ve certainly never bought any of their six albums, either before Robbie left in 1995 or after. And I can categorically say that I’ve never bought any of their eleven number 1 singles”.

He went on,

“Why on earth am I getting all this handlin’? Today’s not exactly been the greatest day I’ve ever had. It only takes a minute to see this is all a set up by someone at Surebuild. I’ll never forget what these people have done to me. Honestly, I’ve been up all night. My head’s openin’”.

One of Grimes’ workmates, who asked to remain anonymous, said,

“He’s having a laugh. We always suspected he liked Take That after he started walking about the building site wearing his hardhat the wrong way round. He’s not wise liking that sort of music, if you can call it that. It’s pure dung. Especially their early stuff, like ‘Take That and Party’, which wasn’t a patch on ‘Everything Changes’. Well, so some people say. I’ve never heard it myself. Not my sort of thing”.

An investigation is also underway regarding a further allegation that the playlist also contained ’House of ‘Love’ by East 17.