Several Coalisland school principals have been reprimanded by the Church for hosting a rash of rain-dancing lessons in the run-up to the Fianna’s match against Dromore in the Tyrone County Final.
In recent months, it has been proven without doubt that Coalisland play well in the rain and mud. In a recent friendly against Derrytresk, it rained for a total of 3 minutes in which time the Fianna scored 6 goals and 3 points. They were held scoreless for the other 57 minutes. Just last month, the Irish News’ Cahair O’Kane intimated at rain-dance practices in Coalisland after their victory of Carrickmore in the quarter-final. O’Kane is renowned for his investigative Tyrone GAA skills.
In leaked footage on TikTok, several Tyrone schools were recorded holding behind-closed-doors sessions on rain-dancing, hosted by famous Brackaville rain-dancing expert Seanie McNally.
In response, the local PP has asked for the practice to ‘desist’ and that any principal who continues allowing such lessons in their institutions will not receive free Gideon bibles this winter. Local women, who have also been photographed having rain-dancing sessions, were also denounced from the pulpit last week.
Meanwhile, Dromore GAA has asked Barra Best from BBC NI Weather to take training on Thursday in order to teach their players how to cope in wet conditions.
The leaked list from Ashley Madison, a Canada-based online dating service and social networking service marketed to people who are married or in a committed relationship, revealed that a husband and wife from the Brackaville Road in Coalisland had been having an affair with each other for over a year, dressed up as other people.
Pat and Kate Owens, both 54, admitted they were completely unaware that the person they were having an affair with was already the person they were married to. The affair was revealed to each other when they both turned up to tell their ‘partner’ that the relationship was over because of the leaked list.
Pat, who ran a 10k race in 1984, explained:
“I’d hadn’t a clue that it was my wife I was tackling in the car park at Edendork Hall. She was dressed up as a dentist with a Russian accent, whilst I pretended to be a farmer from the west of the county like Aghyaran. Looking back now, I remember thinking it was odd she said ‘this is some handlin’ when we spotted the Bishop of Armagh pulling up in a motor with a blade from Keady. I just thought that wouldn’t be a phrase someone from Russia would come out with but I just thought I’d maybe misheard her.”
Kate Owens also confirmed that she did have her suspicions that her dark secret was maybe a little closer from home than Aghyaran:
“He’d have this strong west Tyrone accent one minute but now and again he’d come out with ‘deadly win for the Fianna, boys‘ during a romantic clench. Never thought it was the husband though as his teeth were always brushed and it was obvious he’d had a shower within the last 48 hours.”
The Owens’ admitted they are now closer than ever but wouldn’t trust each other as far as they’d throw them.