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Drunk Omagh Dentist Drills Five Fillings Into 81-Year-Old’s Dentures

2010-11-18-2503790001_308060d465An Omagh dentist has admitted to consuming a ‘heavier than normal quota of lunch drinks’ before drilling five fillings into a patient’s dentures, resulting in both men fainting due to plastic toxins.

Dr Joe Quinn, who served time in 1986 for using dogs’ teeth on patients without their knowledge, has vowed to replace Vivian McSorley’s dentures free of charge after the mishap which also set off the building’s fire alarms.

McSorley’s wife maintains her husband might never go back to a dentist again after the experience:

“Viv was already apprehensive about dentists but after this experience he may never go back. He was only in for a check up to see if the dentures were sitting properly. Within minutes, Dr Quinn was drilling all types of holes into them with plastic and smoke flying everywhere. Poor Viv was all confused and eventually passed out on the fumes.”

Dr Quinn also fainted due to the toxic amalgamation of mercury and plastic. After being revived, Quinn admitted to consuming a bowl of stew at lunch, washed down by a bottle of prosecco, five pints of Harp and 3 chasers before returning to work.

Meanwhile, a prisoner who broke out Maghaberry prison to go to a dentist in Lisburn due to an unbearable toothache has been commended for his hygiene determination but had his sentence extended by 3 months.

 

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Intoxicated Tyrone Man Jailed For Burgling His Own House

Keogh, on CCTV

Keogh, on CCTV

In what has been described as a raucous courtroom, Moy mechanic Raymmie Keogh was sentenced to 6 months in Maghaberry after he was caught by police climbing through an open window of his own house with a bag of goods from his own living room.

Keogh, who had been drinking in a local establishment for 6 hours whilst celebrating his wife’s 50th birthday, maintains he was confused and drunk when he decided to burgle his own house after leaving the party earlier than his family.

Although Keogh’s legal team concentrated on the ludicrous nature of the accusation, the Omagh judge remained unconvinced and sentenced the Moy man because of his criminal intentions.

During his cross-examination, Keogh maintained:

“There’s not one man or woman in this building who hasn’t burgled or thought of burgling after a lock of pints,”

which was greeted with gasps and a determined denial with the shaking of heads from the judge and jury. Keogh explained further:

“When the taxi left me off at my place I was in no fit state to know it was my house and couldn’t even remember how I got there, even as the taxi sped off. So I saw that a window was left open, climbed in and lifted everything not nailed down in the living room, threw it into a Lidl bag and made off down the road again.”

Keogh was apprehended after he sobered up and returned home again only to find the police waiting with an identification, given to them by the taxi driver, matching his description. The driver also said he sang ‘A Nation Once Again’ throughout the journey, a signature tune in the mechanic’s repertoire. He admitted it probably was him after he vaguely recalled leaving a bag of goods outside the off-licence in the village.

In summing up, Judge Boyle said:

“I’ve never heard of a man burgling his own house. But the intention was there to do wrong. The fact that it’s his own home is neither here nor there,”

before slamming his hammer.

Mrs Keogh failed to bail out her husband. She has also claimed off her insurance for the missing goods despite the fact that the bag is still sitting outside the off-licence.

New Moygashel GAA Club ‘True Blues GFC’ Formed

True Blues GFC training

True Blues GFC training

Against all the odds, Moygashel have successfully applied to become part of the GAA landscape after their club ‘True Blues GFC’ were finally affiliated as an operating GAA club as of July 12th 2014.

Moygashel, who have suffered from unwanted publicity recently, will play their first friendly against Carrickmore on the 11th night, followed by games against Coalisland Fianna, Ardboe O’Donovan Rossa and Galbally Pearses to get them acclimatised to the Tyrone county scene. The move comes after Stormont agreed a multi-million pound investment in new facilities in Moygashel including a floodlit pitch and changing rooms with individual showers.

Manager Wesley Frazer was hopeful of a positive start to life in the GAA arena:

“I know we’d have a reputation for being a bit on the Loyalist/Unionist side of the Ulster political divide but we want True Blues GFC to be the start of folk forgetting these silly tags people place on certain enclaves in the province. We have a few good ballers who are sick of the way soccer is almost now non-contact so we’re going to try our hand at the GAA and get wired into some fenians in a nice friendly way. The Carrickmore game will be explosive. I suppose I shouldn’t use that word.”

True Blues GFC will use the motto Fidelitate et honore, terra et mare which means ‘loyalty and honour on land and sea’ and their crest will have elements of the culture from the area including the Queen’s face, a bonfire and graffiti.

Frazer, who recently served time in Maghaberry for tobacco smuggling, predicts a great 11th night festival and has offered Carrickmore supporters a safe and warm welcome:

“This could be Northern Ireland turning a corner. We’ll provide crisps and mineral for the Carrickmore lads and if they want they can stay on and watch the bonfire, singing and the odd military show of strength.”

There has been a mixed reception in Carrickmore to the news of the upcoming fixture. Captain Cathal Gormley admitted:

“I’m crapping myself, and I’ve been to Ardboe.”

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