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Experts Predict More Bridges Than People In Omagh By 2020

 

Omagh's oldest bridge, erected in 1988

Omagh’s oldest bridge, erected in 1988

Following the controversial erection of another bridge in Omagh today, engineering experts have predicted that by 2020 there will be more bridges in the greater Omagh area than people, earning the nickname ‘Little Venice’.

The new bridge, which will not be called the Joe McMahon Bridge despite persistent rumours, is just part of a £4.3m project to make the place look a bit better and it is hoped that Catholics and Protestants will both use the bridge to share stories about what they eat and drink and stuff like that.

Reaction to the bridge has been mixed this morning. Angler Sean Devine told us:

“Like everyone else, I like nothing more than a good bridge but I’d be a bit worried about what these experts are saying. If there are going to be more bridges than people in Omagh it’s going to take the novelty away a bit. Then there’ll be rakes of men with poles on gondolas and trolls and all the side effects of having 20’000 bridges in the town.”

Lisa Foster (24) added:

“I’ve nothing against meeting Catholics on bridges and already this morning I’ve spoken to about five and shared spices and toiletries but the seasickness is killing us. Everywhere you step in Omagh you’re on a bridge looking down on water and the place is covered in vomit now from the queasiness. Anyway, 58% of the bridges have been named after Catholics and that’s not a good example of a shared future, is it?”

Meanwhile authorities have promised that Little Venice’s next bridge which is due to be erected in September will be named after a Protestant, probably someone who player for Glasgow Rangers in the 80s.

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