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37 Shades Of Tattyreagh Documentary A Commercial Success

funny_valentines_day_cards-4An ambitious project to capture romantic liaisons in Tattyreagh has been hailed as a masterpiece after the documentary ’37 Shades of Tattyreagh’ premiered in Omagh last night. 

Tattyreagh, a sleepy townland on the outskirts of Omagh, has long been hailed as the Tyrone equivalent of the Lisdoonvarna Matchmaking Festival, with countless tales of marital bliss from those born and bred in the area.

In the documentary, Tattyreagh women were asked to describe what a typical romantic clench with their partner would involve, with camera crews capturing the most intimate moments for the director Barry Moran.

Susie McCabe, a 48 year old wax therapist described her bedroom antics:

“At well Pat would come in to the bedroom around 11, covered in engine oil, peel off the dungarees and just say ‘brace yourself, woman‘. It never really veers off that plot-line really. And sure, it works for me. 3 minutes later I’m back to reading The Reader’s Digest and he’s rambling on about clutches and brake pads.”

Although the camera crew caught one of the embraces, their faces were fuzzed out, keeping McCabe’s identity secret.

The women of Tattyreagh were also lauded as romantically up there with the French as fly-on-the-wall cameras caught romantic moments in kitchens and bedrooms up and down the Letfern Road.

One of the most emotional moments involved John Quinn coming home from work with a bunch of 8-day old flowers from a petrol station in order to make amends after their row over a burnt black pudding the morning. With tears in her eyes, as well as in the eyes of the cinema audience, Janet Quinn leads her husband up stairs as the camera fades out. All that can be heard is Mrs Quinn softly saying:

“Lob it into me, boss”

followed by a ‘yahooo’ from her husband, earning a round of applause from last night’s cinema goers.

37 Shades of Tattyreagh can be seen across many cinemas this week in the county, rated 18.

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West Tyrone Water Shortage Victims Were Beginning To Smell Like Derry Ones

Strabane plumber yesterday

Strabane plumber yesterday

The water crisis in West Tyrone had escalated to the extent that many friends and visitors of those affected were unable to tell the difference between them and Derry people, especially around Castlederg.

As the NI Water industrial action temporarily ends, enabling most homes to return to normal, baths and showers have been running freely again with many people returning unused Lynx and Soft & Gentle Roll-On deodorant to chemists.

During the height of the crisis, with rivers close to an unbearable temperature, many decided to hold out from a full body washing in the hope that the NI Water came to their senses and looked after its customers.

A cousin of one of those affected informed us:

“You’d have thought you were in Feeny or Dungiven or Maghera even. There was a wile smell of Derry off the Castlederg folk and it was quite confusing. It would be like sniffing a clove rock and smelling Brussels sprouts.”

One of those affected, Brian Furey, admitted he almost took home the wrong wife during a shopping expedition in the Spar in Claudy, Co Derry:

 “There were a pile of women at the check-out and I normally can indentify my wife due to her neutral odour compared to the Derry women. But because of the water crisis she just blended in. I closed my eyes and luckily grabbed the right one.”

A 44-year old father of three in Strabane is still refusing to wash, claiming he is taking part in an experiment after he read somewhere in the Readers’ Digest in the 1980s that the human body cleans itself after three weeks anyway.

 

 

paul g moss

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