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Chinese Make It To Dark Side Of Moon And Find Killeeshil Size 5 O’Neills Ball

C1-000000000003453001-638Wx638HThe Chinese have confirmed that the first image from their un-crewed Chang’e-4 probe which touched down in the South Pole-Aitken Basin this morning was that of a GAA football with ‘Killeeshil GFC’ clearly marked on it. 

Early reports suggest that it may have been kicked in late 2008, hinting at suggestions it was actually a point scored by Hub Hughes against Aghaloo in a crucial intermediate league game. The ball was never found despite extensive searches right into Dungannon.

Efforts to retrieve the ball are now underway due to a shortage of funds at the club. Already, the Killeeshil treasurer has made contact with a few Chinese people to see if they can get the plans they used to get their motor onto the moon.

This is not the first time a successful score by Hughes caused international headlines. His point, ironically in the same year at the end of the All-Ireland final, saw the ball block out the sun in most of the southern hemisphere. The event lead to the creation of a Hughesian religious cult in Taiwan and the Philippines.

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Moy Couple To Appear On Jeremy Kyle Over Theft Of Gypsy Creams

The source of the strife

The source of the strife

Following the appearance of a Derry couple recently on The Jeremy Kyle Show over marital shenanigans, a Moy man and his wife are to go on the show to finally find out who has been secretly eating half a packet of Gypsy Creams after dinner every Sunday.

Colin MacKill, a high ranking official at the local GAA club, and his wife Sheila have been enjoying a blissful partnership apart from Sunday evenings when the Gypsy Cream fiasco kicks off every week without fail.

Sheila, who has been accepted onto one of Richard Branson’s space flights in the near future, is adamant the lie detector test is a waste of time:

“This is ridiculous. Colin goes out to the shed every Sunday at 6pm and comes back in with chocolate all over his face. All over his face! Even his teeth are brown for a couple of hours. Going on this show is madness. I know he’s eating the Gyspy Creams. How come he never is hungry then for a salad cream sandwich before bed?”

Colin, an avid one-mile runner, is steadfast on his reasons for going on the show:

“This needs to be sorted once and for all. She goes on about the shed thing but sure I’m just out oiling chains and stuff. Every time I come back in she’s chewing away in front of the TV and half a packet of the Gypsy Creams are gone. And she’s not chewing the cud as she says. This lie-detector test will settle it. Great publicity for The Moy too.”

This is not the first time a Tyrone couple will have appeared on Kyle’s show. In 2006, an Aughnacloy couple went on to prove who was passing wind and rifting during the night. A CCTV camera proved it was Mrs Gildernew.

 

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